Little girl: Please?
Father: I'm not paying attention to you.
Little girl: Pleeeeeeease? Do you want me to cry? I'll cry. Do you want me to cry, daddy? (holds up stuffed owl) Just get this for me and I'll be happy, please?
–Gift Shop, Museum of Natural History
Girl #1: How much is a train ride?
Girl #2 (in disbelief): Two dollars.
Girl #1: Well, I don't know these things. I'm from Jersey.
Girl #2: Shhhhhhhhhhhh!
–A Train
Overheard by: It's okay, we knew you were Jersey
Ordinary girl: Hey, Rockefeller Center is this way.
Fabulous ghetto girl: What the hell is a Rockefeller?
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: John-John
Bum making weird hooting noise: Hoooooooooo! Hooooooooo!
Girl #1: What the hell? Is that a man?
Girl #2 (sarcastically): Hahaha, no, it's a fucking Mack truck.
Bum: Hahaha you stupid bitch. Stuuuupid bitches. You thought I was a truck! You thought I was a truck! Hahaha! Stuuuuuuupid stuuuuuuuuupid!
–33rd & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Totally not a truck
Man: Who was that chef who said “Butter, butter, bring me more butter.”?
Woman: Umm, I think you just made that up.
Man: No, he said it. And he meant it, and he was right! (butters roll)
–Brazil Grill, 8th Ave & 48th
Chick on cell: Do you prefer the superhero theme to us in only aprons, holding penis cakes?
–Garden of Eden Supermarket, 107th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
White guy to white girl: Wait, you'd be proud to be supermanned by me?
–D Train
(at the superhero fashion exhibit, in front of Catwoman's display)
Man to little kid: Oh, and look! She has a whip. I wonder what that's for…
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: EK
Black guy on cell: Nigga, you can't be James Bond and Batman, you pick which one you are.
–Smith & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ewan Walsh
Girl on cell: Am I gonna need to drug you, put you in a superhero costume, and snap photos?
–Halloween Adventure Store
Overheard by: McF
Batman to four-year-old who jumped out from behind a table: Evan, don't sneak up on me. Superheroes are wound very tight.
–Birthday party, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: PG
Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.
–40th & 9th
Overheard by: McFreaky
Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.
–W 4th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: columbia undergrad
Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Justine
Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was
20-something woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex industry?
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Poogins
(looking down at Washington Square Park's currently under-construction fountain)
Girl: Oh, is that where the World Trade Center used to be?
–Kimmel Center
Bensonhurst Italian guy on phone: I can't fuckin' wait for the Freedom Tower.
–Financial District
Suit on cell: Does anyone know where 9/11 is?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jeffrey
Tourist: Is this the train to 9/11?
–R Train
Confused tourist (thinking he's looking at the WTC site): Will you look at that? They put a fucking graveyard in there! I mean, what the fuck?
–St. Paul's Church, Broadway & Fulton
Tourist: My favorite is my 9/11 Santa.
–Museum Shop, 53rd b/w 5th & 6th
Guy on cell: I mean, it was bigger than a horse. But it had four humps.
–14th & 2nd
Overheard by: LIZ
Drunk man: A plastic sheep or a real sheep… When it comes down to it… is there really any difference?
–Biddy Early's Pub
Chick on cell: It's better than riding a golden yak!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Man to friend: Did I mean "wombats"? Of course I meant fucking wombats!
–3 Train
Blonde: What is a mongoose and where can I get one?
–Times Square
Guy on cell (fumbling with a pack of Marlboros): Well, for one, it’s been ten days since the baby snakes have eaten.
–92nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Mad Man
Middle-aged white guy: …so we told the children they couldn't go to the petting zoo, to see how they would react. (pause) It was interesting on a psychological level.
–Outside of Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
South African man to friend: Listen to what I just found out the other day… my friend's family owned Michael Jackson's family!
–NYU
Guy to friend (about a Halloween party): Dude, it's a totally corporate made-up holiday, but yeah, I'll dress up as Michael Jackson.
–Duane Reade, Union Square
Overheard by: Traczie
Professor: It's not as simple as black and white anymore. I mean, what color is Tiger Woods? What color is Barack Obama? What color is Michael Jackson?
–History of American Women Class, Pace University
Crazy hobo: This is the 2 Express Train! (a few minutes later) Goddammit, I been waiting two hours for the train! Now I gonna be too late for my lunch with Michael Jackson!
–66th Street Subway Platform
Overheard by: Seth
Little kid to another: You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!
–161st St & 3rd Ave, The Bronx
Overheard by: li'l squeaker
