Girl #1: Here's a picture of the guy I hooked up with this weekend. God, I can't believe I hooked up with a Bulgarian…
Girl #2: Wait. That's him? I was expecting a colored person. Is Bulgaria not in Africa?
–Penn Station
Girl #1: Here's a picture of the guy I hooked up with this weekend. God, I can't believe I hooked up with a Bulgarian…
Girl #2: Wait. That's him? I was expecting a colored person. Is Bulgaria not in Africa?
–Penn Station
Suit: Yeah, that new Brown guy is on my team.
Black woman suit: Umm…
Suit: Brown, the school…not skin color.
Black woman suit (turning into fabulous ghetto black women): Ohh, okay. Good thing–there was about to be a whole lotta ugly up in here.
–Times Square
Black guy who just walked in: Excuse me, sir, have you been waiting for the train long?
White guy reading newspaper (with an Obama sticker on his bag): Sorry, I don't have any spare change.
Black guy: What?
–1 Train
Old black guy #1: Have you heard from Sheryl lately?
Old black guy #2: Yeah, she married a white boy.
Old black guy #1: Damn.
Old black guy #2: There ain't nothing wrong with white boys! She married Alan Thicke's son!
Old black guy #1: She married Alan Thicke?
Old black guy #2: No, man…Alan Thicke's son!
Old black guy #1: Wait, which one is Alan Thicke?
Old black guy #2: He's that white-ass nigga from Growing pains!
Old black guy #1: Damn!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jess
Loud Latina #1: He was just, like, just so gross. He was all like, “Nobody loves me and my life is so lame.”
Loud Latina #2: Really? I didn't get that from him. I got, you know, “Hey, I'm a typical white guy.”
–Columbia University
Overheard by: anna
Old woman #1: Oh, the Brown lady…
(old woman #2 stares, horrified)
Old woman #1: Her husband is Brown. (long pause) The surname.
Old woman #2: Ohhhh…
–10th & 3rd
Ghetto guy: Fuck no! That nigga's soft as cotton.
–Union Square
Black guy: Yo nigga, I called this nigga and said "Yo nigga."
–59th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Satch
Random old black guy sitting alone on steps: Nigga who, nigga what, nigga where, nigga what?
–2nd ave and 8th st
Overheard by: evanescent
Chinese kid to another: Do I look pussy to you, nigga?
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
White thug on cell: What? You can't call me nigga, you're white!
–Beverley Road & Ocean Parkway
White guy to Dominican guy: Yo, you look like the kinda nigga who gets bitches. Where they at?
–11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Benny the boo
Guy walking to rehearsal: I mean, he's really cute in that way that makes you want to hit him with a desk.
–Steinhardt Building, NYU
Middle school girl (about poster for condoms): Ewwww, at least they could've put cute gay guys!
–Q train
Overheard by: Robert
Vapid high school chick: Oh my god, I just found out that he's actually dating a freshman. And not even one of the cute ones either…she's like, brown.
–Central Park
Obviously gay boy screaming into cell: Jeremy, why the fuck didn't you tell me the massage therapist you sent me to does erotic massage? All I wanted was a place to relax! (pause) Yeah, halfway through he started jacking me off! (pause) Seriously? He never did that to you? (pause) Don't be offended. You're cute. He just could probably tell I have a big dick and couldn't keep his hands off it.
–Broadway & 20th St
Dude to friends: Did I tell you guys about the girl that I hooked up with the other night? She totally looked like a beaver… (awkward silence) …but I mean a really cute beaver.
–Ace Bar, 5th St b/w Ave A & Ave B
Overheard by: Santa's Boy Toy
Girl on cell: Tim's cute, I just wish he didn't love Jesus so much.
–N Train
Black dude: Hey, I like your tie!
White kid: Thanks.
Black dude: Cause it's black, like my cock!
–21st St
Asian girl: Oh my god, we had a physics quiz and I totally failed.
White girl: Wait, you mean like an Asian fail, right?
Asian girl: Yeah, I think I still have an A, but barely!
–NJ Transit
