Goth girl #1: Wow! Then what?
Goth girl #2: It was kinda like taking a big handful of mayo and squishing it around.
–Matt Umanov Guitars, Bleecker St
Overheard by: wait, what?
Goth girl #1: Wow! Then what?
Goth girl #2: It was kinda like taking a big handful of mayo and squishing it around.
–Matt Umanov Guitars, Bleecker St
Overheard by: wait, what?
Customer: Are these shorts with NYU on the back for men or women?
Male employee in ghetto accent: Miss, would you let your boyfriend wear that on his ass?
–NYU Bookstore
Overheard by: Adrianna
Middle-aged woman: My work is better than my personality, honestly.
–40th b/w Park & Madison
Overheard by: Jim
Girl on cell: But you don't speak English or Spanish good. Baby, you just aren't that smart, how you supposed to get a job?
–Baskin & Robbins Downtown
Conductor: I really don't give a damn whether or not you stand clear of the closing doors, because regardless of where we go I'm still working.
–1 Train
Overheard by: gefilte fish junkie
Hobo, arguing with another: Don't talk to me like I'm yo' job.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Emily
Whiny lady on cell: Yeah, so I think I am allergic to my office. (pause) Oh, no, no, I am positive I am allergic to something in the office. Every time I am in there, sitting in my chair, I get these pains in my back.
–41st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: you still have a job, ungrateful lady!
Hobo to passers-by: Where are you all going? There ain't no jobs.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jillian
Lady looking at cellphone: Oh, it has free nationwide service. That means I can call anywhere in the world for free?
Boyfriend: No. Just in the nation.
Lady: Oh.
–Sprint Store, 42 & 6th
Mother: Honey, are you done going potty?
Three-year-old daughter: Meeeeahh oooh gruuuu.
Mother: Are you speaking whale again?
–Bathroom, Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Overheard by: mmk
Salesgirl #1: Why are you going to an ugly boy's party?
Salesgirl #2: Because I'm cool with his friends.
Salesgirl #1: Doesn't he know he's ugly?
–Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Bar hopper: Look at him! He's 20, but he sucks dick like he's 47!
–2nd Ave & 5th St
Overheard by: Christian
Girl on cell: I'm really mad that he's telling everyone I gave him head, and calling my mom a milf.
–West 72nd Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Will
Student on cell: I can't wait to put that in my mouth.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wait, What?
30-something to teen: I'm telling you: ignore a bitch and she'll be giving you head in a day.
–Central Park
Slutty girl: So after about five minutes, I took a break and my jaw was shaking.
–87th & 3rd
Crazy hobo: Look, I don't mean this in a sexual manner, but could you suck my dick?
–Times Square
Girl #1, in dressing room: How are these pants?
Girl #2: They're too tight.
Girl #1: They's supposed to be tight.
Girl #2: But not so tight to where I can see the outline of your twat!
–Gap, Colmbus Circle
Overheard by: chokedwithlaughter
Employee in fitting room: You all just cut those women in line.
Woman in line: No, they said that they weren't in line. Right? Isn't that what they told all of you too?
Employee: But they were here before all of you in line now, you can't cut them.
Woman: They said that it was okay. I wouldn't just jump ahead of people. I'm Italian, but I do have limits.
–Loehmann's, Upper West Side
Lady on phone: Well, I wish I could get the fat removed from my back but we can't all get what we want, can we?
–Target
10-year-old child with mother and younger siblings: I wish I could get a diaper…
–K-Mart, Astor Place
Random smoking kid: I really wish I could smoke out of my ass.
–Lincoln Center
Girl crossing the street: I really wish something would hit me…I need some money.
–Times Square
Overheard by: 3 day tourist
Girl, after receiving gift: This is…this is so great! I'm so happy! Oh, man! I…I wish you had a little penis so I could give it a rub right now!
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
