Guy: Wait, how’s that work, exactly?
Girl: Well, you have sex according to the woman’s menstrual cycle, you know, and you just don’t have sex when she’s ovulating.
Guy: Don’t you have to take a health class or something to do that?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Katie
Teen boy #1: Dude that sounds like someone trying to drown a dolphin.
Teen boy #2: Ha, ha, ha! Yo, they live in the water! They can’t drown!
Teen boy #1: I know, that’s why it’s so fucked up!
–58th & Lexington
Overheard by: Max Melsenti
Tween girl #1: What? Seriously? You are so dumb. D-O-M!
Tween girl #2: It’s D-O-M-B! Are you kidding?!
–57th & 5th
Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide…
–A train
Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?
–Deli, Canal & Hudson
Overheard by: Uncle Bling
Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.
–Park Slope
Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.
–Life Cafe, Bushwick
Overheard by: D
Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!
–W 49th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Michael
Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.
–LIRR
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
Chick #1: You know Gandhi? The Indian guy with the bald head and the robes?
Chick #2: Oh, yeah — he starred in that film.
–Parson’s School of Design
Tourist: What’s that entrance right over there… Where it says, ‘Exit’?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Ms. Dubs
Man to wife and children: I don’t know why you’re following me! I have no clue where I’m going!
–Rockefeller Center
Drunk male tourist: What time does Times Square close?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Southern tourist dad: ‘Papa Yaking’? What in the hell kinda crazy Jewish name is that?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Fat Southern lady with teal leggings standing beside fat man with large rodeo belt buckle and USS Nimitz hat to security guard: We’re tourists…
–MoMA
Overheard by: Daniel B
Camp leader: Okay, everyone. I think we should all meet at five behind the naked cowboy.
New Yorker camper: John, the naked cowboy is a man.
–LIRR
Meathead #1: I think I just threw up in my pants.
Meathead #2: Cool.
–51st & 2nd
