Old lady, after being pushed by teenage girl: You jerk!
Teenage girl: Well, I really hope you die, like, tomorrow.
–Port Authority
Old lady, after being pushed by teenage girl: You jerk!
Teenage girl: Well, I really hope you die, like, tomorrow.
–Port Authority
Teenage girl #1: That's Babe Ruth? That don't look like Babe Ruth!
Teenage girl #2: I thought Babe Ruth was black…
–Madame Tussauds Wax Museum
Young woman in need of sympathy: You have to forgive me! My mother, she fucked me up! I'm soooo fucked up!
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: stephie
Teenage girl: My mom is a fan of "wild sex" on Facebook.
–Starbucks
Girl in red jacket: It's not the whole gay thing, it's the whole sex-in-front-of-your-mother thing.
–Hudson & Varrick
Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you.
–E Train
Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!
–NYU
Overheard by: George
Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?
–7th Ave & W 18th
Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real?
–4 Train
Overheard by: DCBX
Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying!
–Middle school, Coney Island
Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn."
–Gramercy
Guy trying to sell condoms with Obama on them: Obama condoms, folks! Only $5!
Teenage girl #1: I bet those are good for hard times!
Teenage girl #2: That's the kind of stimulus package I'm talkin' bout!
Teenage girl #1: Oh my god! You should get some for you and Bobby!
Teenage girl #2: No way! He's a Republican! He wouldn't fuck me for a whole week if I asked him to wear one!!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: i bought 2 of those.
Conductor: We have eleven cars today. If we only have five cars tomorrow, don't have short term memory loss and say, "five cars, this happens all the time."
–Metro North
Hot dog vendor to guys standing behind stand: 100 times I've fucked, and have 98 kids.
–Outside Metropolitan Museum of Art
Teen hipster girl to friend : On a scale of one to ten, how many cars are coming?
–33rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Erika
Angry man on cell: Don't talk to me like that! I'll leave you! I will leave you! You know how many women there are in this world? (pause) A thousand!
–45th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Native Ear
Guy on phone on Halloween night: So I realize it's last minute, but we need a fourth ghostbuster… and you are black.
–3rd Ave
Overheard by: Supertaint
Teenage girl to group of friends: Ya know, I used to think that John Lennon and John Legend were the same person. Every time I saw John Legend I thought, "damn, that's whack that John Lennon would walk around in black face!"
–M116 Bus, East Harlem
Overheard by: NC
20-something black guy to 20-something white girl: It's New Year's Eve, baby–have sex with a black man tonight! Have sex with a black man on New Year's Eve! (girl laughs, turns to look at him) Hey–it don't have to be me! It's New Year's Eve, have sex with a black man tonight!
–Suffolk & Delancey
Passenger, about ghetto kids who just got off train: Damn, they were like the black Jersey Shore!
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: kids these days
Woman to dogs, while passing two teens kissing against a building: Let's go, doggies, you don't need to see that.
Teen girl: Excuse me?
–71st St & West End
Overheard by: how rude
Teenage boy in suit to others: Apparently I look a lot like Lady Gaga.
–42nd St
Overheard by: model UN delegate
Elderly man to elderly woman: Gaga… What's a gaga? He went to see Lady Gaga! Gaga… Gaga? Gaga? (goes on for some minutes)
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Jill
Girl to friends, all singing Lady Gaga: I just want to take her face and put it in my vagina. That's how obsessed I am with Lady Gaga.
–7th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Stephanie
Girl: Lady Gaga is not going to sit on your face.
–12th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Cass
Teen skater #1: Dude, I wanted to chill on Easter but my mom said I had to go to church.
Teen skater #2: You should've said “mom, fuck church!”
Teen skater #1: Dude, if I had said “fuck,” I wouldn't be alive. I would've been under the couch. My mama would've stuffed me in a bag… Put some incense on that shit so it wouldn't smell.
–6 Train
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
