Girl #1: One of the best things our country could do right now is legalize prostitution.
Girl #2: Really? One of the best?
–Outside Magnolia Bakery, 11th & Bleecker
Overheard by: cupcake fan
Girl #1: One of the best things our country could do right now is legalize prostitution.
Girl #2: Really? One of the best?
–Outside Magnolia Bakery, 11th & Bleecker
Overheard by: cupcake fan
Girl to boyfriend: Your idea of romance is an 8-ball and trying to get a hard-on!
–12th & Broadway
Preppy girl: Nothing turns me on like carbon monoxide!
–Lucky Jack's
Overheard by: Argopelter
Excited suit: He came out of the womb with a woody!
–1st Ave & 10th
Overheard by: moodle
Girl on cell: I heart you like an erection!
–34th & 2nd
Jock/pretty boy: Dude, I don't know why but she'd always give me boners in the middle of class.
–St Marks & 2nd Ave
Chick: It's all erections and prostates, erections and prostates! Could we have our check, please?
–Arctica Bar & Grill, 3rd Ave & 27th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Excited college kid #1: Dude! We are totally going back there!
Excited college kid #2: Definitely.
Excited college kid #1: Hash, ‘shrooms, a shitload of pot… We are getting fucked up this weekend and then we’re going back there for more!
Excited college kid #2: Yessssss.
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: wondering where there is.
Loud guy: I can turn my dick into a Whopper with fries!
–MacDougal Ale House
Overheard by: Ladle
Small Indian boy: Penis! Penis! [His mother scolds him in Hindi.] … Penis!
–47th & 5th
10-year-old boy to friends: … And then he drew, like, three penises! And then I had to get home in, like, three and a half seconds!
–11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Hannah
Suit to another: Jesus Christ! It’s not my fault your penis drips!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sydney
Dude to friend: Let’s think of words that rhyme with ‘dick.’
–49th & 7th
Pre-med chick: We had this cadaver in lab that we called ‘Schlongo’ because his penis was a foot long. No, seriously, it was really a foot long!
–Bodies Exhibit
Overheard by: a.j.w.
Girl: Are you going to Natalie and Ben's wedding?
Guy: Yeah, I guess. I just hate going to weddings that I don't have faith in.
–5th & 6th
Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it's for normal people and you're just abnormally large.
–Village ATM
Overheard by: rafa
Overenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it's her first time, so I wanted to make sure that I was there to help her through it so that it'd be extra-special for her.
–Wollman Rink, Central Park
Overweight woman: Where's Wang? Guys, where's Wang?
–Hard Rock Cafe
Tourist mom: It's not big enough to impress me.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Not The Empire State, Surely
Loud woman: It was a three-legged pussy!
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Rachel K
Modern literature professor, after ending class early: Well, that's it, I've blown my load.
–Columbia University
Boy: Knock-knock.
Mom: Who’s there?
Boy: McDonald’s.
Mom: McDonald’s who?
Boy: Let’s go to McDonald’s.
–Waverly Pl & Broadway
Overheard by: Lara
Professor guy: What is “piecemeal legislation”?
Dude: Um…
Professor guy: Well, define the term “piecemeal”.
Dude: I’m not familiar with that word.
Professor guy: …Why don’t I just commit suicide right now?
–NYU, University & 8th
Overheard by: Leah Beirne
Queer #1: I could fly from here to San Francisco.
Queer #2: Straight?
–19th & Broadway
Lesbian #1: Oh, that store is so much fun!
Lesbian #2: What would we possibly need there?
–Condomania, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Danie
