Guy #1: I need more leg room.
Guy #2: I need more arm room.
Guy #3: I need more gas room.
–Astor Place Theater
Overheard by: Tracy
Guy #1: I need more leg room.
Guy #2: I need more arm room.
Guy #3: I need more gas room.
–Astor Place Theater
Overheard by: Tracy
Sophomore #1: You are *not* allowed to pass out in the gutters!
Sophomore #2, deadpan: I didn't pass out. I laid down.
–Cooper Square & Astor Place
Drunk guy #1: My junk is way more prominent than your junk.
Drunk guy #2: No way, my junk is way more conspicuous than yours.
Drunk guy #1: Let's have a junk contest!
–St. Mark's & 1st Ave
Ghetto dad to little boy wearing knight's helmet: I don't know who the fuck's son you are, but I love you.
Little boy, muffled through helmet: I luf you do!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
College dude in enthusiastic conversation: I would totally be a cat-sniffer.
–113th St & Broadway
Tall man in heavy German accent: What do you mean the cat can't take a poopy because it is too loud?
–2 Train
Overheard by: Anna
Flaky professional girl: I hate when people are like, "hey, look at that dead bird! Hey, look at that dead cat!" because god, I always look first!
–42nd & 6th
Overheard by: amalthya
Girl on cell: Now you need to marry him for the discounted cat food!
–10th st & 1st Ave
Teenage boy, explaining why he joined the Air Force: We've been around since World War II. We fought against the Germans and sank several submarines. We also killed a whale, but that's not the point.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
20-something dude to friend: Ma-fucking-rines! The Marines! Man, I'ma join up, be a Marine, and go all over the world, fuck, and have babies. I'ma get laid and have a baby in every country: Spain, France… even Pakistan!
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: camillia*
Little boy in army fatigues hiding behind fallen tree: Pow! Pow! Look, mommy! It's the Battle of the Bulge!
–St. Mark's
Lady with Russian accent to salesperson in outerwear section: I don't like the style, it's not feminine. It's like for soldiers, or Chinese people.
–Lord & Taylor, 39th St
Overheard by: mira
Off-duty MTA worker to another: Britain? Whatever man, we beat they ass with… muskets and shit!
–6 Train
Boyfriend: Hey, didn't we get in a huge fight right around here?
Girlfriend: Yes.
–7th St & 1st Ave
Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks!
–Union Square
Overheard by: SilentRaver
Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists.
–Cosi, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Heather
Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule!
–R Train
Overheard by: Amanduh
Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church.
–53rd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown
Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit!
–Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park
Guy #1: You guys should put on a musical next year!
Guy #2: We would, but a musical's pretty elaborate. I mean, we have plenty of girls who can sing, but no guys at all.
Guy #1: Oh! Then you should, like, do The Vagina Monologues, The Musical!
Guy #2: (stares)
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Gen X chick #1: Why are you looking at radishes?
Gen X chick #2: I find vegetables interesting.
–Greenmarket, Union Square
Overheard by: stephie
