Suit #1: …That’s, like, five feet of water. Do you know how much water damage that’s gonna cause?
Suit #2: Yeah! And Louisiana’s not even on the coast down there, is it?
Suit #1: …I think they’re on a big lake.
–60th & Park
Overheard by: Brian Lindecker
Newsguy: Read all about it…26 feet of water and still rising…totally flooded…get the news right here…Brooklyn completely underwater…thousands of people drowned…read all about it…
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Overprivileged yuppie #1: Did you see that? Dude, did you *see* that?! Man, I *own* this fucking city!
Overprivileged yuppie #2: No you don't, skizzball. Donald Trump owns this fucking city.
Overprivileged yuppie #1: Donald Trump can suck my dick!
–85th & 2nd
Overheard by: SoOverIt
Five-year-old son: Daddy, I'm really hungry.
Dad: (ignores him)
Five-year-old son: Daddy, I'm really hungry!
Dad: Well, then eat your head!
–87th & 1st
Guy on cell: I guess you’d rather spend time with your cat than me. That’s cool.
–Brooklyn Heights
Thug to girl calling for cat: You lost your cat, baby? Shit, this is Brooklyn, there’s so many street cats out here they probably ate your cat.
–Franklin & Classon, Prospect Heights Brooklyn
Teen, talking about guitars: You can never have too many. They’re like cats.
–17th & 8th
Girl on cell: Yeah, I want one too, but we should start with a cat and see how that is. You know, play it by ear.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Is that how it works?
Girl: If I looked like a cat’s poop hole I’d still want to be loved… and eaten.
–JFK
Woman: Have a good new year.
Crazy old lady: What? When’s that?
Woman: Tomorrow.
Crazy old lady: You earthlings have the strangest ideas.
–Dog park, E 86th St
Check in girl: I only like buying books with sparkles on the cover.
–York & 72nd
Overheard by: fance
Teenage girl on cell: I gotta find this book in the religion section. You know, it's like… it's not that you believe in god, or you don't believe in god, but that you just don't care? I want that book!
–Borders Bookstore, Midtown
Amtrak conductor: A free copy of Amtrak's Arrive magazine is located in your seat pocket. For those seeking enlightenment, this magazine is the first step.
–Train, Penn Station
Student, discussing The Sound and the Fury: I suppose it's a very *artsy* ending–a big, retarded guy holding a broken flower… Does that come with skinny jeans and an apartment in Williamsburg?
–Stuyvesant High School
Tipsy 30-something nerd: We can't all be riding escalators with hard-ons.(older woman turns around) What, lady? It's a literary reference, look it up!
–1st & 7th
Overheard by: Phyllis Dean
Drunk Long Islander: Happy Fourth of July, New York City!
Old lady: It’s tomorrow, retard. Go back to Jersey.
–87th & 5th
Overheard by: Hunter North
Yuppie on cell (trying to be discreet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I'm on Houston and West Broadway. Yeah, I didn't want to ask anyone for directions and make a fool of myself. Although I'm pretty sure I just did, because half of this coffee shop is looking at me now.
–W Houston
Overheard by: Let's face it, we were all new at one point.
40-something yuppie woman: And then I realized that my biggest problem in life is that most of the time I'm incredibly happy, but I'm not aware of how happy I am.
–81st & Madison
Yuppie dad to seven-year-old daughter: Now when you start buying iPods, that's when you're going to want to have a Visa card.
–Stanton & Christie
Overheard by: Ross
Three-year-old yuppie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don't want Pad Thai! I want sushi!
–Dice Thai, Prospect Park
Overheard by: I'll take sushi too but you're payin', kid
Man: It’s Al Hirschfeld, a famous artist.
Woman: Oh yeah. You don’t see a lot of his work anymore.
Man: Yeah, ’cause he’s dead.
–63rd & Madison
Overheard by: Christy Ann Coppola
Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed.
–Grand Central
Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel.
–Pelham Bay Park
Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names.
–26th & 8th
Overheard by: Withnail
Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's.
–62nd & 2nd
Overheard by: The Vonz
Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name.
–89th St & 3rd Ave
