Woman #1: Why are there chives so much better than my chives?
Woman #2: Because they water theirs.
–Farmers Market, Union Square
Woman #1: Why are there chives so much better than my chives?
Woman #2: Because they water theirs.
–Farmers Market, Union Square
Black lady #1, looking at poster for The Princess and the Frog: The Princess and the Frog…
Black lady #2: She's black.
Black lady #1: Nawww. She ain't black.
Black lady #2: Yeah, she is.
Black lady #1: Naw! A Disney movie with a black person! That's not happening.
Black lady #2: No, really. I saw a preview for it. She's black.
Black lady #1: Wow… That's weird.
–Ziegfeld Theater
Overheard by: Willow
Excited train operator: This is a Brooklyn-bound f train. Please step in and stand clear of the closing doors… Did any of y'all watch Cold Case Files last night? Whoooo!
–F Train
Female suit to another: I mean, we're better off having our kids watch American Idol than Baby Einstein.
–3rd & 84th
Overheard by: Daniela
Angry woman: They lied bout all that shit! I don't care bout her baby whether she's preggo or sick. I'mma whip that ugly bitch's ass… This ain't no Leave it to Beaver nothin' !
–Q Train
Overheard by: Taylor
Loud college student: A lot of things in my life I've been mirroring after the Dog Whisperer show. You know? It's just socializing.
–Library
Overheard by: Elyse
Teenage guy to friend: Man, every time I watch tv, I fucking hate life.
–81st St & Columbus Ave
Teenage boy: You know, if you think about it, violins are basically just giant condoms.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Older man on cell walking two giant dogs: She has a great body… When she sits, it's like a German violinist.
–Thompson Square Park
Mother to young daughter: Even if she was tired and cranky, she still shouldn't have hit you on the shoulder with a violin.
–Ave A & 6th St
Woman on cell: Let's go see the one about the transsexual violinists. (pause, yelling louder) Violinists! The transsexual violin players. Violin! (pause) You didn't say "violin"? Just transsexuals? (pause) Did you say "violence"? (pause) No? (pause) I'm not hungover!
–J Train
20-something girl to another: You know, with most of the other saints, the way they met their demise had no entertainment value!
–Morningside Heights
Woman to guy, nodding thoughtfully: Hell, no, I'm not going to jail! I don't care if he killed him, he's not gonna kill me too!
–Crown Heights
Grandpa wearing Brooklyn dodgers cap to grandson: Listen to me! Are you listening to me? The last two guys who didn't listen to me ended up dead with their heads blown off! Is that what you want? (pause) So… You hungry?
–IKEA Parking, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gene D. Gray
30-something guy: If I were 28, in great shape, and everyone loved me, I wouldn't just be in trouble with the law, I'd be dead.
–Mooncake Foods, Soho
Overheard by: Robert
Crazy Puerto Rican with wild poodle: Mira! Mira! Cancel the fucking casket–she ain't dead yet, bitch! Mira!
–86th St & East End
Woman #1, watching drunks sing Redemption Song: What do you think these guys do for a living?
Woman #2: Whatever it is, they're not happy about it.
–Broome St.
Overheard by: Emily B.
Tiara'd bachelorette #1: I'll take a photo.
Tiara'd bachelorette #2: What? Of us just walking?
Tiara'd bachelorette #1: Yeah, like the Beatles.
Tiara'd bachelorette #3: But there aren't five of us.
–2nd St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Woman #1: I'm, like, really starting to get concerned about this oil spill thing because of the effect on like the environment.
Woman#2: Why? Do you dive?
–Women's Bathroom, Churrascaria Tribeca
Overheard by: Valerie
Male lunch partner: It's like we don't even deserve spring. We get winter and summer. We don't deserve a spring. (laughs) Just don't get one.
Female lunch partner: We kinda had a spring.
Male lunch partner: We did.
–45th St & Lexington
Female: Yo, I can't understand you.
(pause)
Male: Vaaa-giiii-naaaa!
–Uptown Q Train
