Little boy to self: China, China, China, vagina, China.
Sister: Mommmmm! Frank said “vagina”!
Mom: Frank!
Little boy: Nuh-uh. I was saying “China.” Mom, I was saying “China”! Really, mom! “Va-China.”
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Little boy to self: China, China, China, vagina, China.
Sister: Mommmmm! Frank said “vagina”!
Mom: Frank!
Little boy: Nuh-uh. I was saying “China.” Mom, I was saying “China”! Really, mom! “Va-China.”
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
JAP: So, they're opening this new pop-up shop in SoHo…
Asian friend: Why is it when white people open a temporary store it's called a “pop-up shop,” but when any other race does, it's called a “bazaar?”
–Q15 Bus
Female employee to coworkers: Oh my god, you guys! I've got this customer on the phone looking for a fertility jacket! I'm going crazy looking… What the fuck is a fertility jacket?
Male employee: Tina*, you mean a “utility” jacket?
–Bloomingdale's, Soho
Student #1: Hey, where N'Sync at?
Student #2: It's not “where N'Sync at,” it's “where are N'Sync at”?
–Times Square
Blonde chick to friend: So I ran into that guy and confronted him. I was like, "why didn't you say hi to me last Friday? I know you saw me, but you didn't say anything. Listen, if you're going to sleep with me Thursday night, you can't just not say hi to me on Friday. I know it's common for a lot of businessmen to sleep with prostitutes and then ignore them the next day when they see them on the street, but they pay them. If you're going to ignore me, fine… but I expect a check in the mail."
–Outside NYU Gramercy Green Residence Hall
Overheard by: Molalala
Girl to friend: Prostitutes don't have negative connotations.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: anonymous
Drunk 20-something male to two 20-something girls: Is it Jewish tradition to go to Amsterdam when you're 14 to get laid by a black prostitute?
–14th St & 2nd ave
Grad student to girlfriend: You know, it's funny. Before I met you, a skanky girl was just a skanky girl. Since we've been dating, when I see a skanky girl, I have to ask myself, "is she turning tricks?"
–Uris Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wonders how they met
Man to friend, about a woman hailing cab: Wow, she looks really expensive.
–18th & 7th
Teacher: So, in Gangs of New York, Amsterdam throws the bible into the river. What does this represent?
Student #1: He's rejecting his religion because he wants to get revenge.
Teacher: Right. The bible says…
Student #2: “You shall not get revenge”!
Teacher: I don't think that's actually what it says.
Student #2: Yeah, whatever… It could be the 11th commitment!
–St. Francis Prep, Queens
Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.
–Battery Maritime Building
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?
–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Derek
Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.
–Metro North Railroad
Overheard by: Jessica S.
Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!
–Grand Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Angelina
30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?
–H&M
Overheard by: julia
Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!
–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea
Overheard by: Charlotte
Guy #1: Did you know eating pussy was a hispanic thing?
Guy #2: No, I did not.
Guy #1: I don't like that word, though. There are nicer ways to say it.
Guy #2: Sorry… “Latino.”
–34th St & Houston
Overheard by: Daniel Ezra Johnson
NYU grad student #1: So, he texts me and is like “hey.”
NYU grad student #2: Ew!
NYU grad student #1: I know.
NYU grad student #2: Like, what does he want? A conversation?
–Walgreen's, 14th & 4th
Overheard by: Shannon
Girl #1: Where are your testicles today?
Girl #2: (stares at her)
Girl #1: Oh, fuck. I meant “spectacles”.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
