Guy at hipster party: As white people, we don’t think of Greeks as white –we think of them as… Dirty Greeks!
Girl: I can’t believe you just said that.
Guy: Come on. No one likes a Greek.
–Party, Greenpoint
Overheard by: I have no problem with Greeks
Guy at hipster party: As white people, we don’t think of Greeks as white –we think of them as… Dirty Greeks!
Girl: I can’t believe you just said that.
Guy: Come on. No one likes a Greek.
–Party, Greenpoint
Overheard by: I have no problem with Greeks
Long Island girl: The things I think about when I’m not sleeping are so meaningless.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Casayoto
Student #1: Can you drink rubbing alcohol?
Teacher: No. If you do, you will die.
Student #2: Unless you’re Irish.
–Classroom, Edward R. Murrow Highschool, Brooklyn
Overheard by: anonymous
Hipster guy: Yo! My girlfriend gave me a hickey, and now there’s a rumor that I got into a fight with a black kid.
Friend: Dude!
–Edward Murrow High School
Headline by: Justin
Runners-Up:
· “Oh Please! If That Were True You’d Have a Stab-wound, Not a Hickey.” – nosey nafia
· “Shouldn’t Have Let Her Hickey Your Eye, I Guess.” – Internev
· “That’s Funny, I’d Heard Something About a Vacuum Cleaner” – Marv in DC
· “Well, She Does Look Like Gary Coleman.” – stevevc
Dad to young daughter: If you want to hit daddy, you’ll have to take a number.
–Outside Court St. Bagels, Court & Bergen, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Exhausted dad to loud, hyperactive, young son: Yes, everyone knows you’re here. Terminal six food court line.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jen
Mother, to seven-year-old son as she enters a liquor store: Jesus, what’s wrong with you? This is why nobody likes you -you’re annoying!
–Outside Liquor Store, W 57th St
Overheard by: PetRunner
Father quizzically looking at waddling toddler: How can you be anti-park? I mean, you’re a kid! You can run around!
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy
Sassy inner-city mom to dawdling daughter: Get ovah here or I’m going to have to take out my imaginary belt.
–Tompkins Square Park
Mother, to five-year-old daughter picking up cookies: Is that what you eat at daddy’s house?
–The Food Emporium, 88th St
Overheard by: charlotte
Mother speaking sternly to her infant in the baby carriage: Capiche???
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: AH Hell’s Kitchen
Respectably sober hipster: So, I’m interested, what is your ethnicity?
Inebriated Asian girl: Actually, I’m drunk!
–The Levee, N3 & Berry
Overheard by: zp
Chick: My tongue was in somebody’s ass? Whose ass?
Dude: I dunno. That’s just what they said…
–92nd & 3rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: BillyBlog
Young girl playing with blocks at a doctor’s waiting room: And my teacher is mad gay. Mad gay.
Mother: Why do you say that?
Young girl: He just is. And like, whatever. I don’t care about gay people, but like I don’t want a gay teacher. And what’s even worse: He’s a virgin.
Mother: Lot’s of people are virgins, sweetie.
Young girl: Whatever, that’s just pathetic.
–Coney Island Ave, Brooklyn
Professor #1: Some fucking student requested we read the book in the class.
Professor #2: That’s mad twisted, yo.
–Barnes & Noble, Court and Schermerhorn, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ladle
Six-year-old girl #1: I’m going to write them a very stern letter about this!
Six-year-old girl #2: Who?
Six-year-old girl #1: Global warming!
Six-year-old girl #2: Global warming’s not a person, fart-face.
–Court & Degraw St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Global Warming, the person
