Girl: Look at that guy! He’s gross — he looks like Attila the Hun.
Guy: What? He doesn’t even look Asian.
Girl: Look how fat he is! He’s waddling around just like Attila!
Guy: Tell me you don’t mean Jabba the Hutt.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Paul
Girl: Look at that guy! He’s gross — he looks like Attila the Hun.
Guy: What? He doesn’t even look Asian.
Girl: Look how fat he is! He’s waddling around just like Attila!
Guy: Tell me you don’t mean Jabba the Hutt.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Paul
Little boy: You can’t tell.
Mom: Yes, you can sense it. It’s called gaydar.
–Central Park
Preppy guy #1: I hate geese shit on fields.
Preppy guy #2: It’s not so bad. It’s a good lubricant for when you slide-tackle people. You know, you just keep sliding…
Preppy guy #3: Dude, I can’t remember the last time I jerked off using geese shit. It can’t be that good a lubricant!
–Central Park
Girl #1: My shit is green.
Girl #2: That’s cuz you’re a vegan!
Girl #1: Bitch, I shit money!
–Central Park
Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: chris
Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!
–1st Ave & St. Mark's
Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lola Black
Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.
–W 4th St
20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.
–Café
Hobo: Excuse me, sir?
Queer: Ew, don’t talk to me. I have class.
Hobo: Fuckwit.
Queer: As least I got money.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Gary
Tourist boy, seeing group of bagpipers practicing in the rain: What are they doing?
Grandmother: They're playing bagpipes.
Tourist boy: At a time like this?
–Central Park Mall
Overheard by: ReRo
Tourist #1, pointing toward Upper West Side: Is that where the World Trade Center was?
Tourist #2: Yeah, I think so.
–Central Park
Old guy: The Viagra’s working!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Robb Briggs
Middle aged woman: When you hear him say that, you just grab some cake and ice cream.
Younger woman: Why?
Middle aged woman: Because that means he just dumped you…and you'll need to gain some weight to make him feel like asshole.
–Central Park
