Girl: Hey!
Older guy: Hey! How's your film shoot going?
Girl: Great! I'm almost done!
Random sketch: Be careful not to get any fake blood on your clothes. I know you're wearing all black, but still. (winks)
(no response)
Random sketch: I used to do a lot of coke.
–E 10th & Ave A
Disco-glam drag queen: It was! It was baby oil, and I knew it!
–Rubulad, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Katie
Black drag queen in kimono: I'm a corn pone Southern faggot, we do not do yoga.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Ryan K
Hysterical Latina transvestite: My life is in my ass, mijo!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Jean
Drag queen hooker to older lady staring at her: You so wish you could wear a onesie like me.
–MTA
Horrified woman to cop: Um, sir? There's a homeless man by the garbage can with his pants down.
Cop, exasperated: Awwww, naked guy!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Fi
Teenage boy, explaining why he joined the Air Force: We've been around since World War II. We fought against the Germans and sank several submarines. We also killed a whale, but that's not the point.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
20-something dude to friend: Ma-fucking-rines! The Marines! Man, I'ma join up, be a Marine, and go all over the world, fuck, and have babies. I'ma get laid and have a baby in every country: Spain, France… even Pakistan!
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: camillia*
Little boy in army fatigues hiding behind fallen tree: Pow! Pow! Look, mommy! It's the Battle of the Bulge!
–St. Mark's
Lady with Russian accent to salesperson in outerwear section: I don't like the style, it's not feminine. It's like for soldiers, or Chinese people.
–Lord & Taylor, 39th St
Overheard by: mira
Off-duty MTA worker to another: Britain? Whatever man, we beat they ass with… muskets and shit!
–6 Train
Teenybopper #1, giggling and running barefoot: We look like such crack whores!
Teenybopper #2: Yes, that's exactly the look I'm going for.
–Park Slope
Boy: Man, this semester I'm going to fuck everyone. I'm gonna be a real man-whore.
Friends: Uh-huh.
Man leaving train: Someone should tell him it's hard to be a man-whore with his zipper down.
–F Train
College dude: No, seriously, she tries to dress like you.
Hippie girl: You think?
College dude: Yeah, but she can't pull it off because you dress like a hipster. In fact, any attempt she makes is futile.
–Computer Lab, Pace University
Overheard by: Conformity is Futile!
Waspy girl #1: My mom and I are in a huge fight right now.
Waspy girl #2: Really? That sucks.
Waspy girl #1: Yeah, especially because to punish me she's taking me shopping.
Waspy girl #2: What?
Waspy girl #1: We go to all these stores and she makes me try on all these clothes while she makes comments about how fat I'm getting. And then she doesn't buy me anything because according to her I'm a whale.
Waspy girl #2: Wow.
Waspy girl #1: Yeah, I know. And people wonder why Wasps tend to be such alcoholics.
–Metro-North Train
20-something: Oh, and remember, when we go to Jen's apartment, don't touch anything. Both of her roommates just found out they have genital herpes. And she's afraid she has it now too.
Friend: Well, that's what you get for wearing ten-dollar clothes.
–Broadway & 52nd St
Young guy: If I see another blue penis it would be too soon!
–42nd St
Overheard by: alecko
Girl on cell: She just bought a merkin… It was pink, you know, to match her hair. (pause) Would you want to rub toxic dye down there?
–Williamsburg
Girl to another: Just because he is wearing a different colored shirt, he's still the same guy.
–Central Park
Flamboyant guy, shouting to girl in very short orange dress: I have that same orange dress in purple!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother to four-year-old wearing pink shirt and shoes: Not *everything* has to be pink, honey.
–Rite Aid, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
