Wednesday Feel Trapped in a One-Liner's Body

Ghetto lady to another: Her son is a lesbian!

–Port Authority Bus Station

Suit to friend: Did I ever tell you about the time I ran into a Dunkin Donuts Drive Thru window with a transvestite in my back seat?

–N Train

Overheard by: Tater

Cop: The trannies hate the DVDs. They just can't get along. They hate each other more than the Bloods and the Crips!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jon A.

Girl on cell: He just turned around and slipped into the skirt, and I just had to tell him! (pause) No, it didn't flatter his figure.

–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center

Crazy guy, pointing to girl sitting on fireplug: She's a man! That girl's a man! She's a man! Heh, heh…okay, stay there, I'll be right back. (pause) To punch you in the face!

–23rd & 7th

Overheard by: EthanK

Guy on phone: First you wanted to be a car salesman, and now you want to be drag queen?

–31st b/w 9th &10th

Overheard by: roommate of guy on phone

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Comebacks, Compliments, Cops, Crazies, Family Ties, Film, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Jobs & Careers, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Port Authority, Punch, Sexuality, Suits, Threats, Trannies, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

When We Limit Our Cancer Sources, the Terrorists Win

Monster Energy drink rep: Free energy drinks! (hands drink out)
20-something woman: I'll get my cancer elsewhere, thanks.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Queso

Posted on April 4, 2009
Cancer, Clerks, Comebacks, Drinks, Free stuff!, Union Square and East Village, Women

But That's on Purpose.

Old lady being pushed into the train: Young man, you are crushing my package.
Young man: Lady, you're crushing my package, too.

–1 Train

Posted on March 31, 2009
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Men, Old People, Private Parts, Women

That's Why We're Here

Student, reading incorrectly from The Scarlet Letter: “Gorgeous luxuriance of fantasy…”
English teacher: “Fancy.”
Student: “Fancy.” I can't read.
English teacher: I know.

–English Class, Bronx HS of Science

Overheard by: Lillian

Posted on March 29, 2009
Books & Writing, Bronx Science, Comebacks, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, The Bronx, Words

Your Dancing, Jumping, or Rapping, Maybe

Black guy: Wanna see what I'm famous for?
Tourist: No, I don't want to see your penis.

–Central Park Entrance

Posted on March 26, 2009
Black People, Central Park, Comebacks, Guys, Height, Offers and requests, Parks, Penis, Tourists, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Shows What You Know– Mold Doesn't Grow in High-Traffic Areas

Girl to friend: Ew, it smells like mold in here!
Random queer: Well, maybe you should close your legs.

–1 Train

Posted on March 21, 2009
Comebacks, Friends, Girls, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Queer guys, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Vagina

Where “Hurrying While a Northerner” Carries a Death Sentence, at Minimum.

Businessman behind group of tourists: These slow-moving tourists are fuckin' killing me.
Tourist: We'd better not catch your fast-moving New York ass in Beaumont, Texas!

–37th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: DodgersWill