Crazy lady: You are the rudest, most obnoxious person I have ever encountered. I want to speak to your manager.
African American cashier: Okay, then go speak to him.
Crazy lady: You know just because Obama got elected, you can't have an attitude like that.
–Banana Republic
Overheard by: Jelly W
Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"
–Starbucks
Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.
–E Train
Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?
–Strip Club, Queens
Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)
–Museum of Natural History
Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.
–NYU
Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that
Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!
–Penn Station
20-something man, during West Side Story, when Tony climbs in bed with Maria: Get it, son!
–Palace Theatre
Old man, leaving theater after seeing Hair: I told you we should have seen Mary Poppins.
–45th & 8th
Overheard by: Leela
Girl, looking at a barricaded rally: Oh my god, it is so Les Miz up in here.
–48th St & 6th Ave
Long Island woman to friend, leaving the theater after Mary Poppins: That wasn't anything like the movie. The movie had cartoons, this was real people.
–Amsterdam Theater, 42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: MikeyMouse
Man to friend, during Waiting for Godot: Oh my god, you know what would make me really pissed? I'd be so angry if that Godot guy didn't show up at the end of the play.
–Studio 54
Woman to husband, during Waiting for Godot: Is this a musical?
–Studio 54
Overheard by: Hannah
Gay guy: You know what's so cute, is Europe.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Anna P.
College girl to friend: And I'm like "No, you can't chew on the couch. You can't have couch for breakfast." (pause) But what about you, are there any cute guys in your dorm?
–Downtown 1 Train
Girl on phone: Oh-h-h-h my gawd, girl, you don't even know! And then he goes "Damn, girl you in Delta Gamma? Nothing goes down faster than an anchor!" And then I was just like "Shut up!" but I did it anyways, I mean… he was cute.
–Gates to Fordham University
Man on cell picking through garbage can and walking away with trash in hand: Oh my god, I just found the cutest belt in a trash can! Honestly, the things people throw away!
–118th St & Amsterdam Ave
Gay guy marching in protest to another: The guys in this protest are much cuter than at the last protest I attended.
–63rd St & Broadway
Guy #1: You know when you have to take the kind of dump when you have to take your shirt off?
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: It was like that.
–Ave A & St. Mark's
Girl #1: When I was pregnant I was addicted to eating deodorant.
Girl #2: Damn, girl, that's just wrong!
Girl #1: It was so bad I couldn't even see my man in prison cause I couldn't go that long without some deodorant. Secret was good, but I didn't like that Dove shit. Sometimes I'd have to test that stuff out in the store. I'm all takin' a little lick, puttin' it back if I don't like it.
Girl #2: Shit girl, you're crazy.
–6 Train
Drunken woman: Know what? If he does that one more time I'm gonna nail-file my teeth down to my brain.
Drunken man: I did that once. Not as bad as you'd think.
–BBQ Place, Times Square
Lady jogger #1: I don't like jeans. I don't think they're comfortable.
Lady jogger #2: No?
Lady jogger #1: I mean, I wear them to work and all. But I'd rather wear a sweatsuit.
–Central Park
20-something girl #1: Yeah, a guy's not so much a lady-killer when he drops the phrase “your boobs are so awesome!” without a hint of irony.
20-something girl #2: That's nothing. I once had a guy tell me my vagina was like a tank.
20-something girl #1, laughing: Are you serious?
–NJ Transit
Duane Reade employee, pointing to back of store: You can't go in there, the floor's just been waxed.
Swaying drunk girl: So has my vagina, that doesn't mean people aren't allowed in there!
–Duane Reade
