Kid #1, looking at man meditating: Look, it's a statue!
Kid #2: No, it's not!
Kid #1: Yes, it is.
Kid #2: Oh, it is…
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: noseinabook
Kid #1, looking at man meditating: Look, it's a statue!
Kid #2: No, it's not!
Kid #1: Yes, it is.
Kid #2: Oh, it is…
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: noseinabook
Dude: They don't like you because you're pretentious and make them feel stupid.
Chick: And the only reason they like you is because you make them feel smarter and look better in comparison. I win.
–Uptown 6 Train
Headline by: Andrew
Runners-Up:
· “Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman: At It Again” – Veronica Mars
· “Kenley Makes Micheal Korrs Cry at Fashion Week” – anne nahm
· “Now Buy Me The “I’m With Stupid” Shirt I Rightfully Deserve” – Paul K.
· “The Clinton’s New Sitcom Is Going to Be Great.” – treize
Foreign student: So how did you do on the SATs?
American student: Screw the SATs. I lost respect for America when I took the SATs. The difference between Yale and BMCC is an analogy.
–Convent Ave
Overheard by: miguel
Girl on phone (after finding out there was a medical emergency on the first car): Yeah, apparently there's an emergency in the front car. I mean, I just finished watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy, maybe I can help.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Andres
Man to friend: And that's why I like to get stoned and watch the Julia Child show. She's not as shy as you'd think.
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wants to know why!
Crazy man (in a normal voice) Look at the three white women! (in a high falsetto) Let's go shopping! Then let's go fucking! Let's get abortions! Just like Sex and the City!
–Hudson & Charles
Overheard by: lilli
Latina: He was stuck in the garbage can like Screech in a locker.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: TOD
Hobo walking by Law & Order set: I wanna be on Law & Order. I can play a cop!
–94th St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Sargeant Pants
Woman, stopping dead in her tracks in front of a poster for the new version of Beverly hills 90210: Uh oh… Oh no… Uh oh…
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Julia
Girl on cell: No, mom, I'm not going to flag submissive at a fucking porn convention, pardon my French.
–170th St & Audubon Ave
Blonde to male companion getting off train: Good luck beating those kiddie porn charges!
–N Train
Overheard by: Marin M.
Straight-laced businessman on phone: It's because you won't stop downloading all that porn! If you quit, the popups won't come back.
–Ditmars & 37th, Astoria
Guy: They confuse me for a porn star; no, they don't confuse me with a porn star, they just think I'm a porn star because of my name!
–NYU
Tall thin statuesque black girl looking intently into white guy's eyes: Do you want an open relationship or just want to do porn?
–Midtown
Overheard by: toughchoice
Korean girl to white guy: Why do you find it necessary to squint your eyes when you do an Asian impression?
–L Train
Overheard by: john.ainley
White girl to friends: And then a ninjician pulled a chopstick out of her ear!
–Veniero's Pastry Shop
Overheard by: Amy
Asian chick: Asians are obsessed with analyzing poop.
–Max Restaurant, Tribeca
Overheard by: Shringle
Woman begging for change: Can I get some quarters? (pause) My cousin-in-law is Chinese. Come on!
–52nd & Lexington
Overheard by: NMT
Asian woman, after sneezing: Just cuz I'm a sneezin' Asian don't mean I got SARS.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: CNaughty
White girl on cell: Okay, I'm going to sound crazy, but there's this Asian guy in one of my classes…and he looks just like Ashley…and I just want to run up and say "Can I take a picture of you? Because you look just like my black girlfriend!"
–Dorm Building, Cooper Union
Girl playing extreme edition of Would You Rather:Okay: would you rather Joe with a 75% chance of a non-treatable STD or Luke with a 12% chance of pregnancy?
–R Train
Asian girl during Rent intermission: Oh wait, so they all have AIDS? Is that why they're all taking pills all the time? I didn't understand that. But you can't die from AIDS, right? I mean, if you like lived in a bubble forever, you would never die from it, right?
–Nederlander Theater
Man, emphatically: Look, you don't even have to worry about HIV, just take 200 milligrams of Vitamin C.
–89th & Broadway
Hipster girl: Me and my STDs are like Angelina Jolie's kids… Gotta get one from every country!
–Broome St
Overheard by: Kate
Hipster to friend: Thank god AIDS wasn't in Africa yet when I was there, I wouldn't have fucked anybody.
–Classroom, NYU
Young woman on cell: Yeah, I know. (pause) So you don't mind if I have herpes, right?
–71st Rd & Queens Blvd, Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: Tara
Barnard girl, examining other girl's wrist brace: Oh, I thought it was, like, some cool Urban Outfitters…
Other girl: No!
Barnard girl: Aw, baby!
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex
Louis Vuitton-carrying mother: Now I'm going to a halal meat market in Brooklyn next week!
Louis Vuitton-carrying daughter: I want to go to a halal market! Ever since I wrote my thesis I just love refugees!
Mother: Halal markets are for Muslims, not refugees!
Daughter: Well, close enough.
–75th & Lexington
College girl: When we get back to the dorm, let's eat a bunch of stupid snacks.
College guy: Yeah, not smart snacks like Nurti-Grain bars, but stupid snacks like Pop-Tarts and Easy Mac.
College girl: Sooo stupid.
–110th & Lexington
Overheard by: Sromeo
