Drunk guy #1: What the fuck? So that pole fell on you?
Drunk guy #2: Uh-huh.
Drunk guy #1: Shake it off!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Drunk guy #1: What the fuck? So that pole fell on you?
Drunk guy #2: Uh-huh.
Drunk guy #1: Shake it off!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Hungover girl #1: Oh my god, last night was so much fun! Joe kept making out with me and telling me how coked up he was.
Hungover girl #2: Oh my god, he kept making out with me too!
Hungover girl #1: Isn't he such a good kisser?
–FIT Elevator
Overheard by: MKG
Headline by: Seth
Runners-Up:
· “”Ohh- Is This YOUR Gum, Then?”” – ~m
· “And Now Our Babies Will Be Born on the Same Day!” – Katie Darling
· “Next Week, on The Bachelor…” – Catie
· “The Reason Pablo Escobar Was So Successful…” – Prashant
· “To Be Fair Though, They Share Underwear Too.” – Sam
Drunk Asian girl to bouncer stamping her hand: What is this? What does this do?
Big black bouncer: It's a stamp.
–Central Bar, Near Astor Place
Overheard by: waiting to get in
Pissing guy on phone: What do you mean you're not going to have sex with me? (entire bathroom laughs hysterically) See! Even these motherfuckers agree with me!
–Bathroom, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Bobby
Dad to young son in bathroom stall: Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Did you aim in the bowl? Did you aim in the bowl? (son comes out of stall) You did! But you didn't flush. One out of two ain't bad.
–Bathroom, Union Square Movie Theater
(constipation grunts and electronic sounds are heard inside next stall)
Guy in next stall, on walkie-talkie: Hey, Tony, turn the walkie-talkie off when you take a shit!
–Men's Room, Hilton Hotel
Drunk white girl: Oh my god, this bathroom is so dark. How am I supposed to see my vagina?
–East Village
Tall black British guy using the urinal, to himself: Repeat aftah me…you are a rock star! Ah! Yeah!
–5th Avenue
Drunk high-class hooker: I wanna tell you a joke.
Drunk suit: Okay, what is it?
Drunk high-class hooker: What is the definition of “indefinitely”?
Drunk suit: I dunno, what?
Drunk high-class hooker: When your balls are against my ass, you're in… definitely!
–Del Frisco's Steak House
Overheard by: the itis
Drunk old man: Ain't nothing wrong with hot butt naked sex! Ain't nothing wrong with it, am I right?
Passing teen girl: Nothing!
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: In Agreement
Homeless guy hugging another: I love you, old school! You got a cigarette?
–14th St & 8th Ave
Drunk, fighting with another and punching phone booth: I will fuck you up, man! I love you, man!
–E 11th St & 9th Ave
Sloppy drunk dial outside gay club: I love you so fuckin much, mom…like…*more* than Anna Nicole!
–Valda, Gay Bar, NYC
Female NYU student: You don't love Joe Biden as much as I do. Dude, Joe Biden is awesome! He should be gay!
–Tisch Hall, NYU
Overheard by: Blair
Guy leaning against light post, to girlfriend: Listen, I love you…but you're so fucking mean.
–47th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: J&J
Drunk guy: They are like made for each other!
Drunk girl: Oh my god! I know! And not even because they both smoke cigarettes and are like, gangster!
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: saywhaaat
Drunk guy, loudly: Let's go! Let's go and drink and play drinking games!
Comparatively sober girlfriend: Shhhh, honey.
Drunk guy, even more loudly: Oh, who's in my mouth? That's my second favorite game. After Rock Band.
–Elevator, 15th & 7th
Overheard by: Whatever Happened to Scrabble?
Bodega counter guy, to girl walking up to buy beers: Fuckin shit! Oh, pardon my language miss. Watch your mouth boys, there's a lady!
Girl: Dude, I'm buying two double Pabst and rolling tobacco, say whatever the fuck you want,
Patron in line behind her: This is Brooklyn, ain't no ladies here.
–Grove & Broadway, Brooklyn
