Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be bad!
Skinny black dude: Yeah, he real bad!
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be ba-aaad!
Laughing black guy sitting across train, screaming: Dat nigga be so bad he be born in jail!
–Q Train
Overheard by: lola
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be bad!
Skinny black dude: Yeah, he real bad!
Huge fat black lady: Dat nigga be ba-aaad!
Laughing black guy sitting across train, screaming: Dat nigga be so bad he be born in jail!
–Q Train
Overheard by: lola
Hefty chick #1: Well, I didn’t want to fight her, but she called me a fat bitch.
Hefty chick #2: Oh, lawd!
Hefty chick #1: So I backed up on her and dropped her with my elbow.
–41st St. & 7th Ave.
Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.
–125th St station
Overheard by: Solar
60-something overweight bald man #1 during game, watching Kristin Chenoweth on giant screen: Extensions.
60-something overweight bald man #2: Totally.
–Yankee Stadium
Comedy show guy: Comedy! You already spent money on the plane ticket to come to this stupid place, you might as well have some fun while you're here. We have black people and fried shit. Ma'am, do you want to see a comedy show?
Large black woman: No.
Comedy show guy: Why not? Are you “different”?
Large black woman: No, I live here, so I already know everything is stupid. Including your show.
Comedy show guy:: Give me a hug. That was awesome.
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Wes
Dude: … So she smoked some pot and said, ‘This isn’t working. I need to shoot some heroin.’
–26th St & 8th Ave
Professor: Every good professor smokes marijuana.
–John Jay College
Overheard by: soccerking3t
Fat guy: Hey, I just finished running the marathon — let’s call Jeff and go get high!
–12th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: off white
Young pothead: Hey, lady, could you spare some change to help support my marijuana habit?
–Borough Hall Park, Staten Island
Future teacher: I think we should let the kids smoke pot everyday after lunch… You know, just for kindergarten.
–Spruce St & Gold St
Overheard by: Kim
Chick on cell: For some reason that reminds me of The Bell Jar. But probably, I’m just still high.
–West 4th St & Greene
3rd grader, cheerily announcing to subway: I'm starving! I didn't even have breakfast! (jubilantly) Just candy!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i tried that once
Cosi employee to another: Dude, don't tell anyone, but I put a *special ingredient* in the brownies.
–Cosi Restaurant
Fat girl with three skinny friends and a large cupcake: So what do you think our cupcake choices say about our personalities?
–Crumbs Bake Shop
Overheard by: Damon
Old guy with ponytail: You bootlegged My Bloody Valentine? That's like breaking into the US Mint and stealing the chocolate sauce!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Good Analogy
Girl: And by "jellybean," I mean "fetus"!
–Christopher & W 4th St
Woman: It's no longer a chocolate vagina, it's just a pool of chocolate!
–Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
Overheard by: Ilyssa
Fat guy: Just because you have a bus pass doesn’t mean you can go to the liquor store while I wait.
Small Asian girlfriend: Here, have a devil dog.
–Grand & Greene Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: megan m
Drunk NYU dude: You guys know that loose skin around your shaft or whatever? Push it over the tip of your dick. It feels like you have three balls. Three balls! Fucking sweet!
–NYU
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
Dude: I swear to god dude, I can feel my balls moving from side to side today!
–5th Ave
Hipster girl: Balls have no place in my mouth. Gum, chicken, or any other kind.
–F Train
Overheard by: Teabag
Loud fat black chick : I wanna kiss the balls of the person who made these cookies.
–Broadway
Overheard by: sounds yummy
Meathead on cell: I got some good shit for you for the gym. Shoot this shit in your ass three times a week and you'll look like The Incredible Hulk in no time… I can't believe you're doing all this stuff to impress your wife. We'll see how impressed she is when you don't have any balls anymore because you're on steroids. Who knows, maybe she'll start fucking me instead.
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: vicky
Guy on phone: I know classical music well enough to know that Vivaldi had no balls.
–42nd St & 10th Ave
An Asian woman is talking loudly on her cell phone
Fat Black lady: You need to move to the back of the damn bus. We don’t wanna hear that ching-chang ching-chong bullshit!
–Q34 bus
Overheard by: Lauren
