Duane Reade employee, pointing to back of store: You can't go in there, the floor's just been waxed.
Swaying drunk girl: So has my vagina, that doesn't mean people aren't allowed in there!
–Duane Reade
Duane Reade employee, pointing to back of store: You can't go in there, the floor's just been waxed.
Swaying drunk girl: So has my vagina, that doesn't mean people aren't allowed in there!
–Duane Reade
Crying woman in pink bathrobe and wet hair, as she chases pimp-looking male: I'm taking them to court. I'm taking those motherfuckers to court! I'm calling 1-800-lawyers!
–14th & 8th
Overheard by: Rebecca Meyers
Attractive female law student on cell: Whatever, he can feed me dinner. I know it's "unethical" or whatever…
–11th St & 5th Ave
Blonde Columbia Education School girl to friend: Isn't this supposed to be a graduate school mixer? Why aren't there any law school guys coming up to me?
–Havana Central, near Columbia University
Overheard by: I <3 Gold Diggers Subway hobo: Yeah, thats right. (yelling) I'm gonna be the best judge this town has ever seen!
–6 Train
Overheard by: watching&waiting
Six-year-old girl walking up some wet slippery steps: If I slip, I'm gonna sue.
–33rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Em
Woman to male companion: I told you about that guy I accidentally slept with, right?
–Bar at Sushi Samba, 7th Ave
Overheard by: David Russo
Girl to friend: Because it is more than just, sexual, you know? (pause) Well, actually, it's not, but…
–14th b/w 6th & 7th
Man to woman: You know Mesopotamian sex? That's me.
–Washington Square Park
Man walking dog on cell: My number one conquest since coming here was a 21-year-old Native American.
–27th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Mom, how am I supposed to have sex on a bed that has wheels?
–15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Steve Hofstetter
Guy: So I fucked her on a bench, but I didn't finish, because I kept telling her about my girlfriend and how much I love her. So she got pissed of and took a taxi home to her parents.
–5th Ave
40-something man: Just tell that landlord that you don't need no electricity or no cable because you gonna be makin' love all the damn time!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: tracey
Gay man: How long have you been together?
Girl #1: No, we're best friends!
Gay man: Okay, then which of you is straight and which of you is the dyke?
Girl #2: We're both straight!
Gay man: So you both like dick? Well, that is a wonderful thing to like.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Very fat man in suit: Excuse me, miss, could you move your bag so I could sit in that seat?
Thin girl: With all due respect, sir, even if I did move this bag, there's no way your fat ass will fit here.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: thinks he should try Weight Watchers
Headline by: JohnAustin
Runners-Up:
· “”Let Me Rephrase. Excuse Me, BITCH…”” – Paul Tabachneck
· “New Yorkers: Keeping It Real Since 1886” – Nicole
· “She’ll Be His First Target When He Becomes a Serial Killer” – Muse on the Loose
· “She’ll Gain 200 Pounds When She Gets Pregnant” – Vanessa
· “Southwest Airlines Has Already Made This Point” – Michellinator
· “Under a Fat Man, Nobody Can Hear You Scream” – Trey Jackson
· “Weigh Watchers Has a New Recruiting Campaign Called “Honesty”” – Lauren
Hot girl #1: You've gotta admit, you have some weird kinks.
Hot girl #2: Hey, if you can rock a suit, you can rock my world.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Amen
Girl #1, in bathroom stall: Oh my god! I just peed for like 2000 years.
Girl #2, in another stall: Wow, that means that you're like 2000 years older.
–Phoebe's, Bowery & E 4th
Overheard by: wow, that's old.
Chick #1, pointing at random person: Your team!
Chick #2: My team?
Chick #1: Your team.
Chick #2: Huh? My team?
Chick #1: Your team.
Chick #2: No, what? My team?
Chick #1: Your team.
Chick #2: Oh. My team.
–TKTS
Blonde: I love Cinco de Mayo!
Friend: Any excuse to drink is fine with me!
Blonde: Did you know that it's Mexico's Independence Day?
Friend: Doesn't everyone?
Blonde: I didn't. I just think it's so funny, because we don't even celebrate America's Independence Day.
Friend: What?
–Town Tavern
Overheard by: TJ
20-something girl: You know what I miss? The 90s.
20-something gay guy: Oh, hell no, girl. Do you remember the hair? People had all that damn Aqua-Net left over from the 80s and didn't know what to do with it!
–NYU
Overheard by: Chris
