College girl to friend: Yeah, my roommate and I had a cute, girly apartment last year… with a fridge full of beer.
Old black guy nearby: Hahahaha.
–Target
Overheard by: alie
College girl to friend: Yeah, my roommate and I had a cute, girly apartment last year… with a fridge full of beer.
Old black guy nearby: Hahahaha.
–Target
Overheard by: alie
Chick: They just hate me so much. I bet they were so happy when we broke up last spring.
Dude: Yeah, they took me out to dinner.
–2 train
Girl #1: Oh my god, that kid’s head is stuck between the bars! [Entire bus crowd looks as kid pulls head out.]Girl #2: His head wasn’t stuck.
Boy: Oh my god, is that Hugh Jackman? [Entire bus crowd looks.]
–Bus outside the Met
Girl #1: Doesn’t it turn you on when two guys kiss?
Girl #2: Um… No… Not really…
Girl #1: … Oh, yeah… Me neither…
–6 train
Dreadlocked whitey on bike runs red light, almost getting struck by SUV.
Dreadlocked whitey: Hey! You almost hit me! Why don’t you watch where you’re going in that thing?!
Girl in SUV, out window: Jerkoff, you just went through a red light! I should have run you over on principle.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Just trying to cross the street
Girl #1: Eh, let’s get out of here. [They leave right after walking in.]Girl #2: I hate books.
Girl #1: Yeah, me too.
–St. Mark’s Book Shop
Black girl: Antoine got married, I heard.
Black dude: Yo, his wife is that bitch we menage à trois-ed, like, last year. He knew what we did to that girl, and he still married her and had a kid with her.
Black girl: That’s crazy.
Black dude: See this Swiss cheese? We put holes in that girl.
–Blimpie, 23rd & 6th
Guy on date: So, are you really a Mormon?
Girl on date: Yeah.
Guy on date: Does that mean you don’t have sex?
Girl on date: Well, not vaginally.
–Mulberry & Grand
Chick: It’s like that movie — what’s it called?
Dude: Stand by Me?
Chick: No, Gummo.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Same thing
Girl #1: So, I just met this guy… And we, like, totally connected! I mean, I could tell him everything, and it felt like we belonged together, you know?
Girl #2: Dude… You’re 14 — you’re not supposed to find a guy that’s husband material! Get a grip! By the way, what’s his name?
Girl #1: [Silence.]
–UES
Overheard by: Lina
