Guy: I really wanna kiss you right now.
Girl: So who does that make you: my uncle or my dad?
–Bar, Carroll Gardens
Guy: I really wanna kiss you right now.
Girl: So who does that make you: my uncle or my dad?
–Bar, Carroll Gardens
Male Columbia student: So did she give you the recommendation, or what?
Female Columbia student: Yeah, I wasn’t sure that she liked me that much… But then apparently she told them I walk on water in six-inch heels!
–1 Train
Guy #1: What time are we going to beat off?
Guy #2: What, together? Midnight, of course!
Guy #1, exasperated: No, not together! That’s so last year!
–6th & 1st
20-something guy to friend: And then he died of a cocaine-induced overdose, while having sex with a prostitute.
Friend: That's awesome!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Katie Compa
Girl: I love watching people on subways.
Guy: I know, right? I like making short poems 'bout them, too. (points discretely at JAP across subway car) “Slutty white girl looks around train. Adjusts boobs. Looks around again.”
–1 Train
Man #1: So was that her?
Man #2, returning from following Tara Reid: That was definitely her.
Man #1: She wasn’t as slutty as I’d hoped.
Man #2: I know. She’s starting to look more and more like Will Ferrell.
–53rd & 5th
Straight boy to group of girls: Hey, what are you guys talking about?
Girl #1: Are you sure you want to know?
Boy: Yes.
Girl #2: We're talking about hot gay guys.
(other girls laugh)
Girl #3: Do you think Jonathan Groff is hot?
(straight boy leaves)
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl: What are you doing tonight?
Guy: I gotta help a buddy at his new house. We’re gonna get some beer and fix his basement steps.
Girl: You really think that’s a good idea, drinking and repairing stairs?
Guy: Nah, I’m just kidding. We’re actually installing a new toilet.
–7 train
Overheard by: Danielle
Charmer #1: I took part in my first bukkake last night.
Charmer #2: Was it great?
Charmer #1: No, I missed her eye.
–D train
Guy #1: They’re making a sitcom out of the Geico cavemen. Can you believe that?
Guy #2: Yeah. I can picture it — it will be a lot like Seinfeld.
Guy #1: … What?
–39th & 7th
