…And We've Been Together Ever Since.

20-something burnout: Would you like to know what this girl said last night, when she was tripping balls and the cops came to my house?
Friend: She thought she was in a nursing home!
20-something burnout: She was screaming all this crazy stuff. (pause) Wait, are you offended by dirty words?
Friend: Go for it.
20-something burnout: “You dick!”
Friend: Excuse me?
20-something burnout: “You fucking nigger faggot! Bitch-ass spic! I'm a fucking lesbian! You're a fucking lesbian!”

–Mineola Ave, Queens

Posted on April 16, 2015
Cops, Crazies, Crazy, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Nicknames & name calling, Queens

Wednesday One-Liner Cheney

NYU frat boy to another: Remember that time you popped that zit on my dick?!

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Overheard by: lezbotron

Older suit to younger suit: If you want people to move out of your way you just gotta say shit like: pussy, dick, cunt! (people move out of the way) See?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Brad

Thug to another, exiting a deli: The Salvation Army can suck my dick.

–Stanton & Ludlow

Overheard by: CN

Girl wearing hijab: That depends on whose dick it is!

–Hunter College, 68th & Lexington

Overheard by: off white

Posted on April 16, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Brooklyn, Delis, Frat Boys, Girls, Hunter, Insults, Lower East Side, One-liners, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Street, Suits, The Village, Thugs, Upper East Side, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Then How Can I Be a Jerk Off, Brainiac?

Man #1, annoyed at being pushed: You don't have to push!
Man #2: Well, it was really crowded.
Woman: Welcome to New York!
Man #1, to woman: Your mother!
Woman: That's mature! What are you, in the 5th grade? Grow up, jerk-off!
Man #1: Suck my dick!
Woman: You don't got one, honey!

–F Train

Overheard by: Alliem

Posted on April 15, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Insults, Men, On the Subway, Only in New York, Penis, Public Transportation, Violence, Women

Birthplace Of the Soup Renaissance

Dude, looking at soups: What the hell kind of funny person puts bread in soup?
Female pal: It's Tuscan.
Dude, nodding sagely: Oh, well then.

–Park Ave & 54th

Overheard by: pumpkin

Posted on April 12, 2015
Food, Friends, Guys, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions

But That's My Best Quality!

Guy: You should've sat at my end of the counter. I'm rich and well hung.
Girl: You should've sat at my end. It doesn't turn people into assholes.

–Metro Diner, 100th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Beeeej

Posted on April 11, 2015
Girls, Guys, Insults, Money & Class, Restaurants & Cafes, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

…I Was Flashing Him the Whole Time!

Girl #1: Oh my god! Did you see that? He flipped me off!
Girl #2: Well, duh! You ran in front of his car.
Girl #1: So?

–Union Square

Overheard by: sam

Posted on April 10, 2015
Cars and Driving, Girls, Insults, Union Square and East Village

But I Guess Baggers Can't Be Choosers

Young woman: Dude, you forgot your purse at my house!
Flamboyantly gay man: It's not a purse, biatch, it's a satchel.

–Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: anna

Posted on April 9, 2015
Brooklyn, Fashion, Girls, Insults, Queer guys

Sorry, Pal– One Of Your Editors Married Her First

Comedy show ticket seller: Hey! You dropped your scarf!
(girl with scarf around her neck rolls eyes)
Comedy show ticket seller: Hey, you must live here!
Girl: Yeah, and I work in this fucking area, and you tell me that every single night when all I want to do is go home. (looks at tourists listening) Just so you know, “free comedy show” means two drink minimum, and the so-called comedians are just dumb asses who are not not funny at all.
Comedy show ticket seller: Woah! Marry me, please. I'm not trying to be funny, you are fucking amazing!
Girl: Fuck you.
Comedy show ticket seller to tourists: I'm being serious, she's the woman of my dreams!
Tourists: What?

–Times Square

Posted on April 7, 2015
Clothing, Compliments, Dreams, Drinking & Drunk People, Free stuff!, Girls, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Marriage, Offers and requests, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers

Raise Your Hand If You've Been Hit on By This Guy

Black drunk hobo: Girl, lemme tell you something. I'm a Sagittarius and we funny as shit once we're sober. Can I ask you something? Are you Russian?
Woman on subway: No.
Black drunk hobo: You look Russian. I know all about them Russians. Matter of fact, I have a book coming out later this year. It's called I Know Shit.

–1 Train

Overheard by: TVontheFritz

Posted on April 6, 2015
Black People, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Global Geography, Hobos, Insults, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Women

Just Means I Won't Give You This Exploding Apple

Crazy hobo, looking up from intense argument with imaginary friend: Excuse me, sir!
Confused suit: Uh, yeah?
Crazy hobo: What kind of teacher are you?
Confused suit: Teacher?
Crazy hobo: Yes, what subject do you teach?
Confused suit: But, um, I'm not a teacher…
Crazy hobo: Oh. Well, that's alright. Don't think I was criticizing you. I guess it's alright if you're not a teacher. I wasn't insulting you!

–6th & Spring

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on April 6, 2015
Crazies, Hobos, Insults, Questions, School and studying, Soho, Suits

Insults