Seven-year-old boy: You know Britney's on crack, she's on crack. And your girl Lindsay is so going to jail for selling cocaine. That Britney is crazy.
Aunt: That boy watches too much TV.
–LIRR
Overheard by: I think lindsay is going to jail too
Seven-year-old boy: You know Britney's on crack, she's on crack. And your girl Lindsay is so going to jail for selling cocaine. That Britney is crazy.
Aunt: That boy watches too much TV.
–LIRR
Overheard by: I think lindsay is going to jail too
Kid: But what if they don’t know what I’m saying?
Mom: Don’t worry. In Canada they speak English.
Kid, crying: But I don’t speak English! I speak American!
–Central Park
Boy staring at dinosaur fossil: Dude, these animals died a lot.
Friend: Word.
–Museum of Natural History
Little girl: Grandma, do people actually live in New York City?
Grandma: Yes, lots of people live in New York City.
Little girl, confused: But… don’t they all not speak American?
Grandma: You’re right, most of them speak Spanish.
–Penn Station
Young man: You're fat because you need to release. Look at me, that's why I'm slim and sexy. I beat off every day.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Salesgirl to salesgirl friend: I wanna thank you for taking the time to repeatedly hit me in my arm fat and make it jiggle.
–Henri Bendel
Overheard by: Stephan Dion
Professor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around classroom and notices there are some fat girls) …mostly.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Suit to another: All I'm trying to say is, she's not tall enough for her weight.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: ednapontellier
Black girl: Fat people can do splits because they have no bones.
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Five-year-old to very overweight man while waiting for Thanksgiving Day parade: Are you one of the balloons?
–Broadway & 50th St
Overheard by: Peter
Agitated papi: I love him like a brother, but he a fuckin’ inconsiderate, ungrateful, selfish bastard! And he got a ugly baby!
–14th & University
Overheard by: Manhattman
Young Kid: New York is ugly!
–JFK
Overheard by: Latoya Siratana
Wise teen girl: That’s not giving up on him. That’s letting him fuck uglier girls.
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: walking the bridge
Giggling little girl in stroller: I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly…!
–Downtown R train
Older woman to complete stranger: You should really stop eating that crap because it’s going to make you uglier than you already are!
–Fairway, W 73rd St
Overheard by: just trying to buy my groceries…
B&T guy: As I was saying, just ’cause you’re ugly, don’t mean you’re smart.
–Lower East Side
Woman #1: …she’s also a lesbian.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yeah. She’s a black Jewish lesbian mother.
Woman #2: …What do the kids look like?
–Central Park reservoir track
30-something mom: Darnell, how many times do I gotta tell you not to walk down the stairs on the left side when there’s people coming up?
Nine-year-old: But Maaama, you always tol’ me to make my own path!
–F train platform, W 4th
Dad to four-year-old son: Hey, don't touch that! Don't pick up things off the ground here. I just saw a mouse.
Four-year-old son: You saw a mouse! You are so lucky! I always wanted to see one of those!
Dad, sighing: You don't want to see them, they are dirty.
Son: You're so lucky. Wow! A mouse.
–8th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Must not be from the village
Mother: How’s your pizza?
Little boy: Okay. It tasted better when I was high.
–Giorgio’s Pizza
Overheard by: ramona
