Man: It's just frustrating walking behind really slow people.
Woman: He was handicapped!
Man: It's still frustrating.
–21st St & Park Ave
Man: It's just frustrating walking behind really slow people.
Woman: He was handicapped!
Man: It's still frustrating.
–21st St & Park Ave
Demonstrator on microphone: I used to hate homosexuals, I used to be the one who beat up homosexuals. Now that I found Jesus I love homosexuals!
Man next to him, on megaphone: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I have a megaphone!
–Union Square
Man #1: Be reasonable, I know the money's slow but you're raping me!
Man #2: No, I'm not.
Man #1: You're raping me!
–Palmetto St, Bushwick
NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?
–50th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…
30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.
–Broadway and Waverly
Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!
–Downtown 5 Train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!
–2nd Ave & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Joe
Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?
–52nd St & 9th Ave
Man arguing with woman: I was single and drunk and shit happened.
–3rd Ave & 13th St
Man to woman: If I wasn't so diabetic I wouldn't have got so drunk.
–14th St & Ave A
Overheard by: S
Enthusiastic 30-something woman: This is a fine time for me to start drinking again!
–Blue Bar, Algonquin Hotel
Overheard by: Terry
Girl to friends: I don't think I'm a whore. It just enhances what you would normally do with less judgment.
–Astoria
Overheard by: The Princess og Fancy
Excited girl: I haven't drunk since the last time we drank!
–1st Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: Erin
Young man #1: My man told me his girl was one of those.
Young man #2: Oh, word?
Young man #1: Yeah, I thought they were imaginary… Like Eskimos.
–A Train
Girl in sweatpants: I kind of want someone to pants me. Just so that I can show off my ass without being a whore.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Fabulous gay man to another: Ohmigod! I'm totally having a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment right now."
–9th Ave & 47th St
Teenage boy, screaming: I can't wait to get my pants off!
–Broadway & 52nd St
Man to seven-year-old daughter: Hold onto the rail so you don't fall. Cause if you do fall, we're all going to laugh. We're going to laugh really hard. We're going to laugh so hard we will shit our pants.
–N Train
20-something well-dressed girl to another: He comes home saying he won all this money, and falls asleep with his hands in his pants, and that's the end of the story.
–Bedford Ave & 7th
Female cop: I'm not dealin' with you …
Man with dreadlocks: Go suck yo modas pussy!
Female cop: No, you go suck yo modas pussy!
–Bowery & 1st
Guy on cell, to girlfriend: I have such a headache in my balls right now.
–49th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Michael
Very drunk boyfriend to drunk girlfriend: If you can't stay here, talk to me and make this right! I'm gonna have to be a man, grow some balls and leave you!
–140th St & Broadway
Man on crowded sidewalk: Balls to butts, people. Balls to butts.
–Times Square
Girl to friends: I'd totally teabag him, but I don't got no balls.
–Brooklyn Heights
30-something guy to friend: It's just like I always say! The Germans should've bombed New York!
–8th St
Guy with rainbow bead necklace, about protesters of Scientology: Nobody gets the point across without explosions.
–Outside Richard Rodgers Theater
Overheard by: Unlucky at Lotto
Man at Yankee parade: C'mon guys! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
–Broadway & Murray Street
Overheard by: Kat
Woman: The last time I blew up my nether regions.
–Imperial Theater, 57th
