Old black lady: Oh lord, Satan’s children are walking the streets
Goth kid: Shut the fuck up, Rosa Parks. Go sit in the back of the fucking bus!
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Metal Martyr
Old black lady: Oh lord, Satan’s children are walking the streets
Goth kid: Shut the fuck up, Rosa Parks. Go sit in the back of the fucking bus!
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Metal Martyr
Heavy-set and sweaty bus driver to woman with pizza: Lemme…uh…have that pizza. (woman smiles awkwardly, thinking it's a joke) I wasn't kidding. Lemme have that pizza. (woman holding a bag of cookies gets on bus with child)
Heavy-set and sweaty bus driver: Oh, lemme just…uh uh…have one of these…uh uh…cookies. (takes cookie)
Small Asian woman (taken aback and extremely confused): What? You can't take these.
(bus driver stuffs cookie in mouth and ignores woman)
(later)
Bus driver, on PA: Lady, these are some good cookies.
–Uptown Bus to Met from Port Authority
Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.
–M116 Bus
Overheard by: I hate the bus
Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!
–Allen & East Houston
Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.
–33rd & Broadway
Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.
–Times Square
Overheard by: yearbookie
Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.
–South Williamsburg
Overheard by: DanielXY
Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.
–Central Park
Hipster guy #1: You can't be a kid forever.
Hipster guy #2: No, but you can think like one.
Hipster guy #1: Yeah, you can think like one.
–Chinatown Bus
Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you.
–AMC Movie Theater
Overheard by: Emmy
Man with hand stuck in bus door to bus driver: We got a black President and you actin' like this? You civil service!
–14D Bus
Sketching Jamaican hobo: Obama is some kinda skateboard.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Subway hobo: How come Obama don't have sex with his wife no more? Because every time she opens her legs, he sees bush!
–1 Train
Man to toddler in his arms: That's Obama. He's gonna save us all from doom! From doom!
–University & 12th St
Preppy girl #1, in orgasmic voice: Candy-covered chocolate uggs!
Preppy girl #2: Shut up, Tiffany!
–M79 Bus
Overheard by: Fresca P.
Woman #1: Man, why do we get to sit in the back of the bus like slaves did?
Woman #2: Please, slaves walked everywhere!
–B44 Bus
Overheard by: Robin M.
20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up.
–2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Dodd Loomis
Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to!
–F Train
Overheard by: Chelsea S.
Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta!
–B61 Bus
Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable.
–Chambers St
Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City!
–Times Square
Big, Italian guy on cell: Braces? (pause) Why do you want braces? (pause) You don't just get them 'cause you want them!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I hated braces
30-something woman to friend: I started getting cavities after I started making out with boys.
–Queens
Overheard by: Angela
Drunk guy: I wasn't having a heart attack, I was at the dentist!
–M60 Bus
Happy tall man on cell: Alright, nigga, brush your teef and all that, I wanna get high!
–111th & Lenox Ave
Crazy hobo (to the tune of Elvis’ Hound dog): Ain’t nothing but a hound dog! (mutters next two lines) And you never fuck a rabbit in the ass, cause that’s just a waste of time!
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Man, to the tune of Hit Me Baby One More Time: I need to pee out of my urethra.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Noelle
Guy in back of the bus wearing headphones and singing: (almost inaudible) I wanna die…I just wanna die.
(everyone stares at him)
Guy: (almost inaudible) I wanna die… I wanna dieeeeeeee.
–Bx 9 Bus, Fordham Plaza
Overheard by: Krisztina, sitting right in front of him
Homeless guy singing while shaking paper cup full of change: Oh me, oh my… There goes perfection. Oh me, oh my… Here comes an erection.
–13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rolf
Young Hispanic man singing to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven: And there’s a wino down the road!
–E train
Overheard by: In_the_Shadows
Crazy hobo signing to two passing women: Vaaaggiiinnnaaa… Vaaagggiiiinnaaaa. (stretches out his neck towards them and emphasizes) Vaaaaggggiiiiinnnaaaaaa!
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Joe
