“Cancun,” Loosely Translated, Means “Filthy Twenty-Somethings”

Girl on train #1: Yeah, that was when I was snorting coke out of Maya's fake nails.
Girl on train #2, appalled: Ew! That's so dirty!
Girl on train #1: It was spring break in Mexico, everything was dirty.
Girl on train #2, shrugging: True.

–A Train

Posted on June 1, 2009
Body Parts, Cocaine, Girls, Holidays, On the Subway, Passengers, Travel, Weirdness

I Think I Saw This Short at the Cannes Film Festival

Blue collar guy to random guy holding a musical instrument: I wish I had a harpsichord. I'd put on an old fashioned movie and play it in the dark. You wouldn't even need a drink!
Musical guy: A drink wouldn't hurt.
Blue collar guy: No, it wouldn't. (takes a bottle of rum out of his pocket and takes a swig)

–N Train

Overheard by: Pretending to listen to her music

Posted on May 31, 2009
Blue-collar workers, Drinking & Drunk People, Instruments, Movies, Musicians, On the Subway, Wishes & desires

You Won't Want to Breathe in Again Once We Reach Brooklyn

Train conductor: Next stop, 2nd Ave. Please do not push and shove, this might result in a fight unless you like to fight.
(moments later)
Train conductor: This is 2nd Ave. It is now okay for all of you to take a deep breath. The next stop is Delancy Street.
(moments later)
Train conductor: This is Delancy Street. For all of you that are still holding your breath, it is now okay to breath out.

–F Train

Overheard by: LunchBox

Posted on May 30, 2009
Advice, Fighting and ass kicking, On the Subway, Passengers, Public Transportation, Subway conductors

You're Not Texting to Say You Got in, Are You?

Texting teenager: Is there two “L”s in “Fordham”?
Teenager's friend: Uhh…just one, I think.

–N Train

Posted on May 30, 2009
Friends, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Words

And Milk That for All It's Worth?

Ghetto girl #1: You are so ignorant!
Ghetto girl #2: Don't call me that! You know I hate that word!
Ghetto girl #1: What do you want me to call you? Lactose intolerant?

–A Train

Posted on May 30, 2009
Ghetto Chicks, Gripes, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Questions, Wishes & desires, Words

Snakes on a Floor Was a Disappointing Sequel

Male straphanger, laughing: Why didn't you run out of the car like everyone else when you saw my six-foot yellow snake crawling on the floor?
Female straphanger, serious: I have one just like it at home! You coming back again tomorrow, so I can get another seat?

–5 Train

Overheard by: Hansi

Posted on May 29, 2009
Animals & Nature, Laughter, On the Subway, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions

He's About a Minute Away from Devolving Into, “Red Rum! Red Rum!”

Adorable singing toddler: Too many people! Too many people! Too many people!
(train stops at station)
Adorable singing toddler: This train needs to move!
Woman sitting nearby: This kid is *awesome*!
(minutes later)
Adorable toddler, still singing: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! Be quiet, cat. Meow, meow, meow, meow! Shhh…cat, be quiet. You're not my cat, be quiet! Meow? Meow! Meow meow!

–Downtown 3 Train

Posted on May 29, 2009
Compliments, Gay Man's Best Friend, Kids, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Singing, Women

Pop Quiz: Which, If Either, Of These People Is Being Sarcastic?

Teenage boy: So then I thought about three things: government conspiracies, population control, and minorities.
Teenage girl, seriously: Smart.
Teenage boy, equally serious: Thanks. I've been smart ever since I was little.
Teenage girl: I like smart people.

–D Train

Overheard by: …and modest people, too