Guy to cabbie: Hi, can you take me to Queens?
Cabbie: Can't you see I have passengers?
Passenger, rolling down window: Hi, we're in here.
Guy: Thank you! You are an asshole!
–6th Ave & W 4th
Overheard by: James
Guy to cabbie: Hi, can you take me to Queens?
Cabbie: Can't you see I have passengers?
Passenger, rolling down window: Hi, we're in here.
Guy: Thank you! You are an asshole!
–6th Ave & W 4th
Overheard by: James
Conductor: Everything’s running normal this weekend.
Black woman: Everything runnin’ normal this weekend? Shit, I could take this train to fuckin’… fuckin’ anywhere!
–Q train
Overheard by: office peon
Headline by: Marc
Runners-Up:
· “Alice in Wonderland, New York Style” – Anastasia Poushkareva
· “Around the Hood in Eighty Days” – ad neal
· “I Meant My Colon” – I Got Real Mail
· “Just a fuckin’ small town girl, livin’ in a fuckin’ lonely world…” – karaoke queen
· “Transfers available to up your ass and go fuck yourself.” – mark manne
· “Why Reading Rainbow and drugs don’t mix” – mike
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there is a smoke condition at Chambers Street. We will be delayed pulling into 42nd Street.
Teen boy: What the fuck is a smoke condition? My mom has a smoke condition. Subways don’t.
–1 train
(a very obnoxious, lingering fart was dropped and filled the entire car during rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let’s get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five minutes later: What’s the matter with you fucking people? Somebody open up a god damned window!
–2 Train
Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.
–Herald Square
Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?
–E Houston & Ave D
Overheard by: haha
Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!
–Herald Square
Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.
–7th & 23rd
Overheard by: Stormy
Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!
–Fordham & Hoffman
Overheard by: sromeo
Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Steve
High school teen: Excuse me, do you know where the F train is?
Rich suit: Yeah…you can probably tell that I don't take the subway.
–Union Square
Overheard by: you're probably sleazy too
(small child is scrubbing the subway walls with a Kleenex)
Child: Oooooh! Dirty!
Mother (holding up hand-sanitizer): We’re anti-bacteriaing the subway.
–A Train
Sassy black lady on crowded train: Excuse me!
Irritated suit: There's nowhere else to go!
Sassy black lady: No! I bump you! I bump you, so I said “excuse me!”
–Downtown A Train
Sniffer: There are pedophiles everywhere. There are pedophiles in this train right now.
Friend: Mmm-hmmm.
Sniffer: I see them, and I know who they are. I can smell them.
Friend: Mmm-hmmm.
Sniffer: Yeah, I smell you.
–F train, Midtown
Old black lady: Bus driver, you a dumb motherfucker! You just turned down the wrong street!
Man: Don’t worry, Mr. Bus Driver, I still have faith in you.
Old black lady, to man: Get your faggot-ass off the bus!
–8 bus, Bronx
