Flamboyant gay man: This is like when we saw Equus.
Lesbian biker chick: Oh, I forgot you saw that! How was it?
Flamboyant gay man: It was good. Except the actress puts her leg up on the horse like this (demonstrates by lifting his leg in the air) and I could totally see her tonsils…through her vajayjay.
–E Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, of course he stole my five dollars! It was mine. It was right there.
Straight white hippie: I did not take anything of yours.
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, who are you gonna believe, him or me? I mean, look at him–he's not even dressed well!
Straight white hippie: Dude, I hope something seriously bad happens to you.
–Union Square Subway Station
Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!
–Nomad Restaurant
Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.
–7 Train
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Annearchist
Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!
–46th & 5th
Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.
–47th St & 9th Ave
Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!
–Broadway & Cedar
Overheard by: mondoman
Hot gay ginger: Ooh! Look at how yummy these grapes look!
Cute half-Asian: Not as yummy as that dilf outside…
–Dean & Deluca
Overheard by: reid r.
Headline by: Myrtle Willoughby
Runners-Up:
· “And So Grape Nuts Were Born” – DRS
· “How to Toss a Half-Asian Salad” – jeffreydanna@gmail.com
· “It’s Official: Gay Men Are the New Teenage Girls.” – Steve
· “Some People Just Prefer Bananas” – Hot gay ginger
· “That’s Why They Call It the Fruit Section.” – Jesse
Gay guy to friend: The men in my family die young while the women live much longer. I don't know where that leaves me.
–W 4th St & Bank St
Daughter to mother: There are only boys and girls, right?
–M60 Bus
Math geek to another: I think society benefits more from cross-dressing than murder.
–Outside Tisch Hall, NYU
Overheard by: shaun
Woman to man: You did know she had a penis, right?
–Broadway
Overheard by: Jessica
Guy, to another standing up: Sit down, sugar tits, this ain't our stop!
–G Train
Overheard by: Matthew & Aaron
Guy to another: Hey, how're the bumps on your cervix doing?
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: office peon
Middle aged lady on cell: Lots of people say Dallas is really nice. Lots of nice people, nice weather. What do you have against it?" (pause) That was in '63!
–M79
Party girl to cool guy: Why can't you let me be nice? I'm not nice to anyone.
–77th & York Ave
Overheard by: UES Suit
Flamboyantly gay guy to crowd of girls at Pinkberry: You know, I was just trying to do something nice, and this is how you treat me? Fuck y'all, I'm gonna be the next President. (storms off)
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: scarface
Garbage man to another: Man, Attica is the best prison. High class. That shit is nice!
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: eliza
Suit on cell: I wonder what his wife is like. She's probably nice, but rich. You know what I mean.
–2nd Ave & 88th St
Woman on cell: Nice people just can't tell if they're pregnant.
–W Houston & Varick
Overheard by: courtney messer
20-something male of questionable sexuality: That's such a cute dog! Hey, do you know where dogs come from?
Female best friend: Where?
20-something male of questionable sexuality: Wolves!
Female best friend: No way!
Male of questionable sexuality: Yeah!
Female best friend: How did that happen?
20-something male of questionable sexuality: I don't know. I think two really small wolves mated or something.
–42nd St
Overheard by: Maddie's Friend
Gay guy: Now I just need to hire a staff of people to vote for me.
Friend: I am sure you know enough people.
Gay guy: There are not enough Mexicans here.
Friend: Surely there are some second-class Eastern Europeans.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: macohseven
Gay guy with lisp: I heard Mark, you know, the fat kid? I heard he slept with the hockey team.
Blonde girl: Funny thing is…we don't have sports teams at Marymount.
Gay guy with lisp: Oh my god! Are you cereal? I was lied to? The queen of gossip is never lied to. Ugh!
Blonde: Don't talk to me… You just said “cereal” in place of “serious.”
Gay guy with lisp: Whatever, I'll tell everyone it was you that slept with the hockey team.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Queer: Things are sad.
Hag: We both suck.
Queer: The world is a Jew.
Hag: …what?
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: RaRa
