Bank teller: Are you two married?
Asian girl and white man (angrily): Yes. Just.
Bank teller: You're so loving.
White man: Our marriage doesn't start until noon each day.
Asian girl: After two cups of coffee.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Bank teller: Are you two married?
Asian girl and white man (angrily): Yes. Just.
Bank teller: You're so loving.
White man: Our marriage doesn't start until noon each day.
Asian girl: After two cups of coffee.
–17th St & 5th Ave
White girl #1: Do you live here?
White girl #2: Yeah.
White girl #1: We were thinking of moving here. How is it?
White girl #2: The super is okay. The building is fine. Good value, I guess.
White girl #1: I know! We were so excited to find a place on the Upper East Side for so cheap!
White girl #2: Uh, this isn't the Upper East Side: this is Harlem.
White girl #1: Oh… I guess that would explain a lot.
–E 129th & Madison
Gay guy #1: So, why do you think I'm your soul mate?
Gay guy #2: I never said I did.
–Gavroche, 14th St
Overheard by: Kenneth Creech
Thug on phone: Yo, man, you know that bitch I rent my room from? Those titties are triple F or some shit, man! (pause) How do I know that? Cause I looked through her drawers, that's how! (pause) Cause whenever I talk to that bitch, those things are in my face! I had to find out!
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: redshikari
Dude: I have barometric boobies!
–Jujutsu Class, 13th & 7th
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude to friend: Dude, sometimes you just have to say no to boobs.
–St. Mark's Chipotle
College student: Those tits in that shirt look awful… I wanna see cleavage, not leverage.
–Columbia University
Suit on cell: You should get paid more because of how big your boobs are!
–74th & 3rd
Overheard by: Joanna L.
Young mother: Yeah, she still talks like a baby. She still talkin' baby talk. Her favorite word is "bitch."
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Black chick on phone: So I asked that bitch and she said he's gonna be in the Special Olympics in Secaucus.
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jake
Conductor over PA system: Don't hold the doors, bitches!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Anna
Ghetto boyfriend to ghetto girlfriend: You know… You know that I luh' you, but I just wanna know, why you don't luh' me? Why, bitch, why?!
–Broadway & Canal
Overheard by: Aviva
Man on cell: It was a bad bitch? …a bad bitch?
–37th & Broadway
Girl to friend: …so then the guy turns the fuck around during "Chim chiminey" and just loses his shit on those two old bitches.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Viv
50-year-old female crackhead hobo chasing a 30-year-old male post office worker: Why won't you fuck me? Come fuck me! Are you too scared to fuck me?!
–50th St & 5th Ave
Man talking to stranger outside peep show: No, no, no. This is a peep show. If you want to fuck someone, you have to go somewhere else.
–8th Ave, Midtown
Horny NYU hipster: I haven't had sex in 3 months! If I were a heroin addict I'd have been clean for 2 months already!
–NYU
Loud middle-aged woman on cell: And I was like, "Don't worry, lady, I'm not getting any action!"
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: the libbernator
Old man to old lady: No, I will not bonk you!
–Avenue J & E 12 St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.
–106th & Amsterdam
Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.
–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rahstah
Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!
–69th & Lexington
Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger
Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.
–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn
Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
Overheard by: James
Man trying on hat: Hey! Do I look like John Wayne in this hat? Watch out, pilgrim! I'm planting roses!
–Botanical Garden
Girl to friend: I need a twig or a leaf or an herb or somethin'.
–C Train
White guy on cell: It's the goddamn Cherry Blossom Festival… so get your ass out here.
–Outside Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Maintenance worker to another: Oh, come on! It's not working now. Let's try plugging it into the tree.
–42 St & 2nd Ave
Flower vendor: Shut up nigga, I'll slap you! Fresh roses!
–7th Ave & 26th
Overheard by: Todd
Tween girl looking at internment camp exhibit: Mom, what's an internment camp?
Mother: Umm… I think it's, like, a place where you go when you get a job as an intern.
–International Center of Photography Museum, Avenue of the Americas & 43rd St
Overheard by: Chris
Girl #1: You wrinkle your nose when you sleep.
Girl #2: I do?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Wait, you watch me while I'm sleeping?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Ariana
