Chick: I have to run in here and get more ChapStick.
Guy: You just bought chapstick yesterday.
Chick: My dog steals them and eats them.
Guy: That must be why his lips are so soft.
–Columbus between 89th & 90th
Chick: I have to run in here and get more ChapStick.
Guy: You just bought chapstick yesterday.
Chick: My dog steals them and eats them.
Guy: That must be why his lips are so soft.
–Columbus between 89th & 90th
Girl #1: Are you sure you don’t mind taking the bus by yourself?
Girl #2: I’ll be fine. I’ve taken the B3 by myself before… with Steph.
–Taco Bell, Kings Plaza Mall, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lotte
Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex.
–Barnes & Noble
Guy on cell: You're never going to believe this, but I need to tell you anyways. I just did some witchcraft.
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Smoking Student
Yoga teacher: Not being able to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. Like how you're a fucking loser.
–Midtown
Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pookie out because he's a Pisces and I'm a Virgo, and that way our personalities will match.
–C Train
Overheard by: evan
White dude to another: I'd like to see what his chi looks like.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Aileen
Latina girl with empty seat next to her: This whole ride nobody’s sat down in this seat. This bus is gonna be packed before a white person sits in this seat.
Three stops later, a white girl sits down in the seat.
Latina girl, approvingly: Gangsta.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Emily Duncanson
Tourist #1: Hey look, that's Carnegie Hall!
Tourist #2: Not it isn't. The sign says “Carnegie Deli.”
–54th & 7th
Ghetto clerk #1: Someone called before from New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: So?
Ghetto clerk #1: Well, I didn’t know there was a New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: Yeah, there’s Mexico and New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #1: Oh, I get it. So it’s like Bronk and da Bronx?
Ghetto clerk #2: Not really.
–Manhattan Supreme Court
Tour guide trying to attract tourists: Hello! Great bus ride for tourists, only $30!
Girl: I'm not a tourist, I'm a student at Fordham.
Tour guide: Fordham's in England, you dumb bitch.
–Times Square
Blonde on cell: So it was either an ambulance or a taqueria.
–Times Square
Girl on cell: What? What!? Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital! Please. Why? Because when you get stabbed you go to the hospital, you don’t go and lay down.
–Jersey Transit
Thug, in a rush: Look, I don’t give a fuck! I just want Medicaid!
–13th & 3rd
Disgruntled male gynecologist: We’re the bastard stepchildren of the surgery world. General surgeons barely think we’re human. "Oh, don’t get up, it’s just a gynecologist." I could have been a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, a dentist, a lawyer… I’d be making more money, too. My brother’s cat needed a caesarian section and the vet got paid more than I get paid to do a caesarian section!
–Gynecology Office, 32nd & Madison
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl on cell: I told you I was sick and needed to go to the doctor’s! I can’t even swallow! I tried food, water and liquids!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ross
Chick in scrubs (lighting cigarette) to friend in scrubs: My heart rate won’t go down!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: McFreaky
Customer: Can you tell me if there are any locations in the Washington DC or Baltimore areas?
Secretary: Um where is Baltimore?
Customer: It’s in Maryland.
Secretary: No, we don’t have any in Maryland… And DC — where is DC?
Customer: Like, Washington DC…
Secretary: It says we don’t have any in that state. There’s some close by in Arizonia and California though.
Customer: No, Washington DC — like, our nation’s capitol.
Secretary: No, I don’t think so. Sorry, I’m not so good with geography.
–Brite Smile, 57th St
Overheard by: Tracey G
Woman: The bargain discount…what is that?
Cashier guy: It is 25% off.
Woman: 25% of what?
Cashier guy: 25% off of the price on the book.
Woman: So it is 25% off of the sale price.
Cashier guy: It’s 25% off of the price listed on the back of the book.
Woman: So what is the sale?
Cashier guy: It’s 25% off the retail price.
Woman: So how is that a bargain?
Cashier guy: You save 25%.
Woman: That’s not a bargain!…The world has changed…
–Barnes & Noble, 17th & 5th
Overheard by: Tom T
