Stupidity

Drunk guy: Where are you from, man?
Random guy: Arizona.
Drunk guy: Arizona… Arizona, Nevada?
Random guy: No… Arizona, Arizona.
Drunk guy: Oh, but… Nevada is a section of Arizona right?
Random guy: No. Nevada is Nevada.
Drunk guy: I’ve been to Wisconsin.

–E Train

Overheard by: Noble Robinette

Chick #1: Hey, who was Yasser Arafat?
Chick #2: Uh, wasn’t he the president of Mexico?
Chick #1: Kill me.

–Washington Square Park

Girl #1: But… Isn't he from Japan?
Girl #2: Duh, Japanese people speak Chinese!
Girl #1: Oh my god! (laughs) You are so funny! People from Japan speak Spanish. Everybody knows that!

–A Train

Overheard by: Hiding In The Corner (Highly Disturbed.)

Professor, describing a picture of the Calendario Azteca: It's not actually a calendar, but a depiction of Aztec cosmology and creation.
Student: Is it accurate?

–Columbia University

Cop holding machine gun: Where you from?
Tourist: England.
Cop (in terrible British accent): Smashing! Brilliant!
Tourist: Um… Yeah.

–City Hall

Chick: So, um, like, yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, well, when you think it’s right but it isn’t, you know, then it’s like, um, yeah. I don’t know what I’m saying.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Jock #1: Don’t you dare tell me that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. I’ll kick your ass.
Jock #2: Shut up, you know he doesn’t exist.
Jock #1: Then who the hell puts the presents under the tree?!
Jock #2: Your mom does!
Jock #3: I’d totally do your mom. No lie.
Jock #2: Me, too.
Jock #1: Santa exists, dammit!

–Midtown Direct train

Overheard by: Believes

Frat boy #1: I see you wear your hat slightly up and to the right.
Frat boy #2: Yep.
Frat boy #1: But are you in the Facebook group "I Wear My Hat Slightly Up and to the Right"?
Frat boy #2: Yep.

–Silver Center, NYU

Overheard by: tj

Girl #1: What’s with the people yelling?
Girl #2: It’s a protest about something.
Girl #1: What are they protesting?
Girl #2: I don’t know, the Bubonic Plague?

–Washington Square SE

Overheard by: Gradie Smith

Girl on phone: Well then, riddle me this, smart guy: why'd I wake up naked?

–Smith & Sackett, Cobble Hill

Overheard by: Swimfan

Girl: Oh my god! I can't wait to see them naked!

–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center

Overheard by: Natalie

Museum worker: And then I woke up buck naked in a hotel, and there were pictures of me all over the room.

–Museum of Art and Design

Guy: No, I will not do it in here again. Just because I'm wearing nothing under my jacket, doesn't mean I'm going to flash a crowd of people in every store we enter. I've done it three times already. Get your rocks off some other way.

–Columbus Circle Mall Escalator

Overheard by: Martin

Drunk girl at NYU protest: I don't even know why I'm here, I just want to take off my clothes!

–NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: Lilo

Girl on train: Oh, hi! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.

–A Train

Overheard by: Don't even wanna know

Girl on cell: So I'm gonna be naked, but that's okay, I'll be wearing rollerblades.

–N 4th & Bedford Ave