Guy #1: She’s tired.
Guy #2: So is her.
–7th Ave & 23rd St.
Guy #1: She’s tired.
Guy #2: So is her.
–7th Ave & 23rd St.
Homey #1: Yo, hold up…Jesus was a virgin?! He went from 12 to 33 with nothing?
Homey #2: Fuck that shit. He definitely got his dick sucked or buttfucked some bitches.
–L Train, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Brian McCaffrey
Thug: Damn! You can’t go nowhere now without seeing faggots. I saw two brothers holding hands on the train the other day. It’s like they were coming out of the closet on the train!
Thugette: There ain’t no closet on the train.
–L Train, 8th Avenue
Guy #1: Is this that beer I left here last time?
Girl: No, I just can’t open it.
He tries to, fails, and says: Oh I see, you mean you can’t open it physically.
Guy #2: As opposed to what, metaphorically?
–UES apartment
Overheard by: ian
Pizza dude: That guy smokes like a camel. Every 5 minutes he’s in there. He uses it as an excuse. And then it smells.
–Hotline Pizza, Bensonhurst
Teen #1: …yeah, so now Saddam Hussein’s on trial or whatever, and like–
Teen #2: Whoa, whoa! They captured Saddam Hussein?! When did this happen?!
Teen #1: Like a year ago, dumbass. Jeez you’re slow. Anyway–
–1/9 34th St. Station
The cashier hands coupon back to customer.
Customer #1: So the coupon is expired? What does that mean? It’s no good?
Customer #2 tells her friend: We should soooo submit this to Overheard.
–Staples, 6th & 23rd
Overheard by: Customer #3, submitting this in case #2 never got around to it.
Guy, 20s: Umm…the half & half curdled when I put it in my coffee.
McWorker: You want a napkin?
Guy, 20s: No, I want another coffee. The half and half curdled.
The McWorker pours him a new one and yells to someone way in the back: There’s something wrong with the cups!
–McDonald’s, Flatbush Ave & Snyder St
Black guy: …it’s an endangered species! It must be preserved in a museum!
–Westway Diner, 9th Ave.
Old guy: I’d like two tickets to Times Square please.
Booth lady: What?
Old guy: Two for Times Square please!
–Whitehall Street station
Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny.
–Bakery, 70th & Lex
