Latin teacher: I don't think [Catullus] is exactly calling her a five-cent ho.
Student: Haha, he said ho!
–Packer Collegiate
Overheard by: Fred S.
Latin teacher: I don't think [Catullus] is exactly calling her a five-cent ho.
Student: Haha, he said ho!
–Packer Collegiate
Overheard by: Fred S.
Professor: Stereotypes are generalizations about groups and individual members based primarily on membership in that group.
Black girl: We already know that!
–Baruch College
Arabic professor: “Qadam” means foot. How do you say more than one foot?
Male student: Feet.
(class laughs)
Arabic professor: In Arabic.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Krisztina
Elderly math teacher: By god, you can't just hand me any mangled piece of paper you want! What do you think this is, the Bronx High School of Science?
Geeky kid #1: Oooh, that's mean.
Geeky kid #2: Well, at least he didn't say Brooklyn Tech. They have cameras everywhere, and if you dis them, they'll take out their gun and be all, “What did you say about my school?”
Geeky kid #1: You just made that up.
Geeky kid #2: I wish.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by:
Student: When installing software there are always these terms and conditions that you have to agree with, right? But nobody knows what they mean and nobody reads them. Could it be argued that that is a type of contract that cannot be enforced?
Contracts professor: Yes, definitely. (pause) Now, before you get too happy about that: you asked whether it could be argued.
–Columbia Law School
Cute queer to hot Asian friend: I would rather have you drive drunk and stay at a friend's place in Manhattan then take a cab back to Jersey.
–Manhattan
Professor: For Muslims, the afterlife is more real to them than it is to me or you. For them, dying is like…going to New Jersey. Beautiful New Jersey.
–Stern Building, NYU
Overheard by: Emily
Trashy girl (knocking on door of a convenience store that just closed): Yo, let me in! I just want to buy a Heineken before I go back to New Jersey!
–W 108th & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: MR
Construction worker to people exiting PATH station: You're from Jersey! You should be happy!
–Vesey St & Church St
20-something on cell: I'm at Penn station and there are so many guidos and guidettes on their way back to Jersey. Watching them is like watching babies stuck in a McDonald's ball pit.
–Penn Station
NJ Transit worker: You'd be surprised how many honest people there are in New Jersey.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Jersey Girl
Conductor: This is a Jersey bound Q train. Oh shiiiiit.
–Brooklyn Bound Q Train
Overheard by: office peon
Mr. Smith* (lifting student's backpack) That's overloaded. You need to get a boyfriend to carry that for you.
Student: I don't need a boyfriend.
Mr. Smith: Then find some sucker to carry it for you.
Student: I'm my own sucker!
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: The Happy Hippie
Man: So I was making out with my ex girlfriend on the bridge and out of nowhere this dog runs over and starts humping my leg…
–Uptown 1 Train
Dude outside bar: All dogs are gay.
–7th Avenue, Park Slope
Overheard by: The Katie
Black man arguing with kiosk man: Yo, he ain't my son, he's my dog!
–6th Street
Middle-aged woman walking her dog to passersby: I'm a dog! I don't know why none of you believe me! I talk to my dog. Humans don't talk to animals, animals talk to animals! I'm not human! And until you people realize that, you're going to keep having problems with me!
–9th St & University Place
Overheard by: Katie
Drunk guy to girls walking puppy: Hey giiirl. Watch yo dawg. Giiirl! Watch yo dog… Cuz I might bite!
–Staten Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Izzy
(teacher's cell rings)
Teacher: I have a feeling I have to answer this. It's very important. It's about my puppy.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: student
South African man to friend: Listen to what I just found out the other day… my friend's family owned Michael Jackson's family!
–NYU
Guy to friend (about a Halloween party): Dude, it's a totally corporate made-up holiday, but yeah, I'll dress up as Michael Jackson.
–Duane Reade, Union Square
Overheard by: Traczie
Professor: It's not as simple as black and white anymore. I mean, what color is Tiger Woods? What color is Barack Obama? What color is Michael Jackson?
–History of American Women Class, Pace University
Crazy hobo: This is the 2 Express Train! (a few minutes later) Goddammit, I been waiting two hours for the train! Now I gonna be too late for my lunch with Michael Jackson!
–66th Street Subway Platform
Overheard by: Seth
Little kid to another: You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!
–161st St & 3rd Ave, The Bronx
Overheard by: li'l squeaker
Camp counselor pointing to giant brass globe: Guys, look! This is America… And way out here is Hawaii…
Camper: I can't find where's The Bronx.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Autumn
