Hoochie #1: I can’t believe you did that!
Hoochie #2: I know, but he’s the president.
Hoochie #1: But you could get a disease or something!
Hoochie #2: Yeah, I know, but…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Haha are you kidding me…
Hoochie #1: I can’t believe you did that!
Hoochie #2: I know, but he’s the president.
Hoochie #1: But you could get a disease or something!
Hoochie #2: Yeah, I know, but…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Haha are you kidding me…
Girl: Whoa! That dog is huge!
Boy next to her: Um… That’s a horse.
–Times Square
Overheard by: I guess that’s a common mistake…
Big guy: I read the other day on the internet that masturbating can really make you retarded.
Clerk: Really? (long pause) Wow!
–Porn Shop, Time Square
Overheard by: carepicha
Yuppie mom: We’re never riding the subway again.
Little girl: Why?
Yuppie mom: Everyone keeps hitting you on the head.
Little girl: So? I love the subway.
Yuppie mom: Well, the subway doesn’t love you.
–Times Square
Dude looking at girl shoes: If I were a chick I'd wear the ugliest shoes, I swear.
–5th Ave
Woman on phone call with son's teacher: I know he's in the big boy group, but if you see he put his shoes on the wrong feet again, could you just let him know, please?
–57th St & Madison
Four-year-old girl: My toes are in my shoes!
–Bus
Overheard by: vcstr
Girl, with pride: I can't get laid in this town without these pointy fucking shoes. My feet are so black and blue, and so are you!
–F Train
Overheard by: Ofelia Hiney
Gay guy to friend: Oh, c'mon, at its best, The Wizard of Oz is just a story about two women fighting over a pair of shoes.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Paul N.
Exasperated mother to child in toilet stall: Hurry up and poop!
–Ladies’ Restroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Betsy
[Girl is taking a piss in bathroom, friend shuts off lights.]Girl: Biiitch! You know my pussy don’t glow in the dark!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Lady in bathroom stall: [Grunts, groans grunts again.] [Pause.] Oh my god, I peed on the floor!
–Sheraton Hotel
Overheard by: Morgan
Hungover senior, chanting loudly over sound of own urination in bathroom: Allllllllll riiighty thennnnnnn! Ahhhhhhhh!
–SVA Animation Department
Overheard by: Laughing
Man farting at urinal, to friend at urinal next to him: Hey, man, what do you think about piss farts?
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Overheard by: JO in Bobst
Girl: I’m not looking. I don’t want to see your vagina. Even if we are family.
–AMC Theater Restroom, Times Square
Overheard by: wondering what’s going on in the next stall
[Horrific sounds heard in adjacent stall for 3 minutes.]Co-worker, yelling: "I’m sorry, I had milk!"
–Office bathroom, 31st Street
Tourist lady: Can I get an all day subway pass?
Token booth guy: Sure, $7.
Tourist lady: How long will that last?
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Jeff McCrum
Asian girl on cell: Yeah… or I could just knock her teeth out and sell them on eBay or something.
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: Alyssa
Girl on cell: And out of nowhere dude a goddamn peacock feather hit me in the teeth!
–Starbucks, 8th & 39th
Old man: I can smell my own tooth decay!
–Times Square
Overheard by: One Liners Are The Best
Lady on cell: I don't know what to do. I'm like nervous… I know… I haven't bought toothpaste in years…
–Duane Reade
Guy on phone: The difference between you and me is you drink tea and eat tofu. I drink whiskey and make people eat their teeth.
–48th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rebecca
Girl on cell: I’m on 42nd, where are you? Yeah, the place is on 46th. Where are you again? No, I will not walk down to 33rd just to meet your cunty face and walk with you to 46th…meet me here. Just go straight! You’re not blind, you fucking liar…oh, Christ, there is no such thing as stress blindness…I hope you get hit by a car.
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Ria Vergara
Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.
–Times Square
Overheard by: jason
