Wednesdays Floss After Every One-Liner

Asian girl on cell: Yeah… or I could just knock her teeth out and sell them on eBay or something.

–Chelsea Market

Overheard by: Alyssa

Girl on cell: And out of nowhere dude a goddamn peacock feather hit me in the teeth!

–Starbucks, 8th & 39th

Old man: I can smell my own tooth decay!

–Times Square

Overheard by: One Liners Are The Best

Lady on cell: I don't know what to do. I'm like nervous… I know… I haven't bought toothpaste in years…

–Duane Reade

Guy on phone: The difference between you and me is you drink tea and eat tofu. I drink whiskey and make people eat their teeth.

–48th & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on April 29, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Birds, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Duane Reade, e-Bay, Ethnic Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Punch, Sensory Experiences, Starbucks, Street, Time, Times Square, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

She Can’t See Because of Her Hood

Girl on cell: I’m on 42nd, where are you? Yeah, the place is on 46th. Where are you again? No, I will not walk down to 33rd just to meet your cunty face and walk with you to 46th…meet me here. Just go straight! You’re not blind, you fucking liar…oh, Christ, there is no such thing as stress blindness…I hope you get hit by a car.

–42nd & 7th

Overheard by: Ria Vergara

Posted on April 28, 2015
Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Times Square

Medieval General: And After the Archers, Send in the Yellow Horde!

Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.

–Times Square

Overheard by: jason

Posted on April 27, 2015
Asians, Dancing, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Pop Culture, Race, Times Square, White People

Angina, Mangina

Daughter: Yeah, and it turns out she has an extra valve in her heart!
Dad: Whoa, what does that do?
Daughter: It messes with her hormones… and stuff…
Dad: What, does she think she’s a man?

–Times Square

Posted on April 26, 2015
Families, Health and Hygiene, Times Square

Wednesday One-Liners Get Swept Away in Masses Of Humanity

Tourist: Hey look, it's 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?!

Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green!

–Times Square Shuttle Platform

Overheard by: D-Law

Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared?

–Rockefeller Center

Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas!

–F Train

Overheard by: Matt

Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues.

–The Cloisters, Harlem

Overheard by: M@

Posted on April 26, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Broadway Shows, Colors, Dads, Directions, Harlem & Morningside Heights, NYC Geography, On the Subway, One-liners, Port Authority, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-liners Wander New York

Bag lady on pay phone: Well, I’ll admit that she’s cold, but I don’t know about manipulative.

–Times Square

Posted on April 24, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bag ladies, Times Square

“Thin” Being the Operative Word, Casanova

Guy #1: I kind of remember her from school. What’s up with her?
Guy #2: I’ve been hanging out with her a bit recently. Let’s just say she likes thin mints and I’m a girl scout.

–Times Square

Posted on April 23, 2015
Friends, Hook Ups, Penis, Times Square

How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Maeve

Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.

–Duane Reade

10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.

–Christopher St & Waverly Place

Overheard by: sharknife

Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.

–NYU

Overheard by: ninja z

Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.

–Conde Nast Building

Overheard by: jackattack

Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.

–34th & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Alis

Posted on April 15, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Duane Reade, Family Ties, Fashion, Fashionistas, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, JAPs, Kids, Moms, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Students, Stupidity, Sweat, The Village, Times Square, Weirdness, Women

Times Square

Wednesdays Floss After Every One-Liner

She Can’t See Because of Her Hood

Medieval General: And After the Archers, Send in the Yellow Horde!

Angina, Mangina

Wednesday One-Liners Get Swept Away in Masses Of Humanity

Wednesday One-liners Wander New York

“Thin” Being the Operative Word, Casanova

How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

That’s Just an Optional Amenity

Wednesday One-liners Take Home Ec