What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?

Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!

–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St

Overheard by: gothchick

Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!

–Ludow & Stanton

Overheard by: M & J

Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.

–W 110th St

Overheard by: Ashley

Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on November 20, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Columbia University, Compliments, Crazies, Food, Girls, Guys, Hot dog stands, Junk Food & Fast Food, Language Barrier, Lower East Side, Money & Class, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Race, Strangers, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners

Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.

–Uptown 6 train

Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.

–NYU

Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds

Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.

–Washington Heights

Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!

–115th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Posted on November 11, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Canadians, College, Dancing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Eating Out, Fighting and ass kicking, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Manhattan, Marriage, Menstruation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Private Parts, School, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Topics, Vagina

Thermos Not Included

Drunk #1: That girl’s got legs up to her lunchbox.
Drunk #2: Yeah, but there ain’t a lot of protein on them bones.

–Fred’s Bar, South Bronx

Posted on October 29, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Diet/Weight, Drunks, Private Parts, The Bronx, Vagina

Wednesday One-Liners Are Friends With Tom

Geeky boy: I think I’m having trouble meeting people online because my MySpace page is so intimidating.
Goth girls: [Silence.]

–Eileen’s Cheesecake

Girl: Hey, why didn’t you Friendster me on MySpace yet?

–46th & 6th

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Girl departing with friend: MySpace-message me when you get your new phone! But I’m sure I’ll see you before then.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: acep

Nerd: So I broke up with her by changing my MySpace status from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘Single.’

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: Adrienne

Ghetto boy: Where the fuck has he been? Fuck. I’m going to hunt that nigger down on MySpace.

–Wendy’s, 23rd St

Guido in car full of guidos, taking girl’s picture with cell: Hey, girl! Didn’t I see you on MySpace last night?

–Hughes Ave & Fordham Rd

Overheard by: Greg

Skinny girl on cell: What? I’m sorry! Listen, you asked! That’s what happens when you bend over and you aren’t wearing underwear: your pussy definitely ends up on MySpace.

–65th & Lex

Posted on October 26, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Breaking Up, Cell Phone, Clothing, Internet, Myspace, Threats, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Nice to Meet You, by the Way.

Girl #1: I want to go home with that guy. Do you have a razor?
Girl #2: No, sorry, why?
Girl #1: My coochie looks like a dead raccoon.

–Fat Baby Club, Lower East Side

Posted on October 19, 2018
Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Hair, Lower East Side, Offers and requests, Physical appearance, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

They'd Rule the World— Oh, Wait

Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?

–Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Judgmental Dog Walker

Posted on October 10, 2018
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Gender issues, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Vagina

I Think I've Realized What I Want for Dessert

Polite diner: So would you?
Girlfriend: Would I what?
Polite diner: Lick your own vagina if you could.
Girlfriend: Absolutely not.
Polite diner: Well I would, it's delicious.

–Restaurant, 11th & 2nd

Posted on August 26, 2018
Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Eating Out, Girlfriends, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village, Vagina

Especially When You’re Pulling a Baby Human Through It

Guy: He paid for all that and you didn’t even fuck him at the end of the night?
Girl: Nada.
Guy: It must be fantastic having a vagina.
Girl: Sometimes it really is.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Mark Blaise Fallon

Posted on August 20, 2018
Central Park, Dating, Friends, Money & Class, Sex, Vagina

What You Get for Talking to Strangers

Cokehead: Hey buddy, you got a cigarette?
Brit tourist: Yeah, man. Here.
Cokehead: Hey, smell my face.
Brit tourist: Why?
Cokehead: Just smell it, go on! (sticks chin out and pushes face to Brit’s nose)
Brit tourist: No way man, why?
Coke head: Please.
(Brit tourist smells his face)
Brit tourist: What is that?
Cokehead: That’s the smell of a thousand-dollar hooker’s pussy.

–42nd & 3rd

Posted on July 18, 2018
Brits, Cocaine Diet, Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Prostitution, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Smokers & Smoking, Tourists, Vagina, Weirdness

Either That, or It's Back to Diapers–Like Grandma

Small child, waiting in bathroom line: Mom, I really have to go.
Mom: Well, honey, you're just gonna have to cross your legs and hold your vagina.

–Barnes & Noble Bathroom, Union Square

Posted on June 3, 2018
Body Parts, Kids, Moms, Pee, Store, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Weirdness

Vagina