Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?
Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?
Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”
–60th St b/w Madison & Park Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?
Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?
Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”
–60th St b/w Madison & Park Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Man on cell: What did I do to you? I bought you a house and you don’t even wanna live in it!
–F Train
Overheard by: LC
Conductor, over intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, this train is overbooked. That’s just the way things are. Life is unfair.
–Amtrak Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Ladle
Suit: There was a time in my life when I would have never tired of hearing the word "vagina". That time has passed.
–Staten Island Supreme Court
Conductor: Watch your step as you exit the train, and if you’re late, just remember that life is a lot like being on this train: we may not be there yet, but we’re getting there.
–2 Train
Overheard by: can this conductor drive my train every day please?
Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!
–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St
Overheard by: gothchick
Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!
–Ludow & Stanton
Overheard by: M & J
Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.
–W 110th St
Overheard by: Ashley
Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!
–8th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.
–Uptown 6 train
Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.
–NYU
Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds
Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?
–43rd & Lex
Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.
–Washington Heights
Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!
–115th St & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Drunk #1: That girl’s got legs up to her lunchbox.
Drunk #2: Yeah, but there ain’t a lot of protein on them bones.
–Fred’s Bar, South Bronx
Geeky boy: I think I’m having trouble meeting people online because my MySpace page is so intimidating.
Goth girls: [Silence.]
–Eileen’s Cheesecake
Girl: Hey, why didn’t you Friendster me on MySpace yet?
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Girl departing with friend: MySpace-message me when you get your new phone! But I’m sure I’ll see you before then.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: acep
Nerd: So I broke up with her by changing my MySpace status from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘Single.’
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Adrienne
Ghetto boy: Where the fuck has he been? Fuck. I’m going to hunt that nigger down on MySpace.
–Wendy’s, 23rd St
Guido in car full of guidos, taking girl’s picture with cell: Hey, girl! Didn’t I see you on MySpace last night?
–Hughes Ave & Fordham Rd
Overheard by: Greg
Skinny girl on cell: What? I’m sorry! Listen, you asked! That’s what happens when you bend over and you aren’t wearing underwear: your pussy definitely ends up on MySpace.
–65th & Lex
Girl #1: I want to go home with that guy. Do you have a razor?
Girl #2: No, sorry, why?
Girl #1: My coochie looks like a dead raccoon.
–Fat Baby Club, Lower East Side
Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?
–Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Judgmental Dog Walker
Polite diner: So would you?
Girlfriend: Would I what?
Polite diner: Lick your own vagina if you could.
Girlfriend: Absolutely not.
Polite diner: Well I would, it's delicious.
–Restaurant, 11th & 2nd
Guy: He paid for all that and you didn’t even fuck him at the end of the night?
Girl: Nada.
Guy: It must be fantastic having a vagina.
Girl: Sometimes it really is.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Mark Blaise Fallon
