14-year-old Mexican girl #1: I might start telling people he's my son, instead of my little brother.
14-year-old Mexican girl #2: Why would you want to do that?
14-year-old Mexican girl #1: Because then guys will think I'm easy!
–N Train
14-year-old Mexican girl #1: I might start telling people he's my son, instead of my little brother.
14-year-old Mexican girl #2: Why would you want to do that?
14-year-old Mexican girl #1: Because then guys will think I'm easy!
–N Train
Girl #1: I just feel bad because he's going to think I'm a total bitch because I kicked his friend at his birthday party!
Girl #2: Whatever! You can't worry about what other people think of you.
–C Line
20-something guy #1: Dude, that band was awesome!
20-something guy #2: I know! It makes me wish I were a chick, that way I could have that guy's babies.
20-something guy #1: Me too!
–Southpaw, Park Slope
Overheard by: esgeness
Girl #1: So how is every thing?
Girl #2: Good, I talked to James… He’s dying.
Girl #1: Ah, I see.
Girl #2: Yeah, so things are great! (nods repeatedly)
–Exiting City Hall Station
Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that??
–Simon Baruch Middle School
Overheard by: the art major
Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children.
–Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Maianess
20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup
Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid.
–Grand Central Station
Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: inching away
Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile!
–Wagner College
Overheard by: good to know
Drunk hobo boarding train: Hey, is this uptown or downtown?
Girl: It’s the…
Drunk hobo: Fuck it! Lets go!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tiffany
Law professor: Sometimes you just want to tell your client, "Wake the fuck up!"
–NYU Law School
Law student on cell: Well, it's hard to locate them, since I don't know who they are.
–Columbia Law School
Overheard by: arctinus
Older looking woman on cell: No, don't fight him, Henry. We're Jewish. God gave us lawyers for a reason.
–42nd & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Awesome judge: If you do not have a basic understanding of the English language, you will not be able to serve. If you cannot understand what I'm saying, please come up now. Now, two translators will translate what I just said. If you understood what I said, obviously don't come up here.
–Supreme Court Building
Suit to girl: You must be a lawyer. (pause) Or a cunt.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: How did he know?
Thug: Don't say anything to her! Don't you know anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law?
–132nd & St. Nicholas
Drunk lawyer on phone: Yeah! I convict rape victims.
–Outside Shea Stadium
Middle aged woman #1: Did you know turtles only use their penises for mating, not peeing?
Middle aged woman #2: Oh, really? Cool!
–Lexington Ave
Guy trying to pick up girl: So where are you from?
Girl: Iowa.
Guy: Oh, man! My family and I almost moved there…but it sucked, so we moved to Florida instead.
Girl: Oh.
–Park Ave & 33rd St
Skinny gay guy #1: Oh, I can't. It's drag queen puppet bingo night.
Skinny gay guy #2: It's the only one in town! We can't miss it!
–44th & 9th
