Women

Girl, screaming for two straight minutes: bobby! Bobby! Bobby!
Woman to friend: I don't think Bobby wants to talk to her.

–Astoria

Overheard by: bunhead

Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.

–47th St & 8th

Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: NosyMormon

Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.

–Fancy Restaraunt, 79th St

Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said "hungry Jew," I'd be getting a ton of money thrown at me.

–98th St & Broadway

Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it's silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don't like to buy things that were made in Germany.

–Queens

20-something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!

–30th Ave, Astoria

Girl to boyfriend, after taking deep breath: Can you smell that? It's like the ghost of meats past!

–10th Ave, Meatpacking District

Suit: Turkey-bacon? How did you guys get them in one meat?

–Grand Central Place

Young lady to another: And then we were all treated to sausages…

–E. Houston & Bowery

Overheard by: Luke McPartlin

Five-year-old boy to bewildered mother: We're gonna go work for a giant meatball!

–86th St & Lexington

Distraught-looking white woman to boyfriend: I just wish I'd gotten the more expensive steak. (boyfriend nods sympathetically)

–Upper East Side

Woman #1: Having a job makes you feel…
Woman #2: More secure?
Woman #1: Less unemployed.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: meghoney

White-haired lady #1: She's gay. Didn't you hear her say, “I can tell by the look on your face you're gay”?
Friends: What?
White-haired lady #1: You know, gay! AC/DC. She goes both ways. She's gay.
White-haired lady #2: No. (pause) She said “I can tell by the look on your face you're a virgin.”

–Broadway Show

Overheard by: drewbear

Woman: You gotta eat just the whites. When bodybuilders eat five eggs, they eat just the whites.
Man: I'm not a bodybuilder.

–28th & 5th

Woman on cell: Ugh, no I can't. I've been at work, I'm totally wasted.

–Outside Penn Station

Whiny American Apparel employee to new recruit: You're not allowed to chew gum on the floor, you can't wear UGGs to work… You have to be 100% American Apparel.

–Downtown F Train

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Subway musician to dude walking by with guitar on his back: Get a real job! (pause) I always wanted to say that to someone.

–S Train

Female suit to make suit: So, is your work still sticky like mine?

–Port Authority

Overheard by: quiet commuter

Man in bar, with the air of explaining a very simple concept: We need to shoot every fucking robber in the head, right? Then there would be no robbers.

–Midtown

Mom to son picking leaves off a potted plant: You better stop doing that or else they'll shoot you.

–Roosevelt Island Golf Center

Overheard by: erak

40-something female suit: I'm looking for a particular kind of venom for my blow-gun darts.

–The High Line

60-something woman to two admiring 30-something women: My body no longer produces estrogen and I carry a gun in my purse… Who's going to mess with me?

–Prince & Sullivan

Man, handing out newspaper to lady: You look special. (lady grabs it) Slim, I meant you look slim.

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Brian H

Suit, blocking newly vacated seat and motioning to young woman at other end of the car: Would you like to sit?
Older woman, closer to the seat: Who the fuck is he… The seat police?

–5 Train

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer