Drunk British guy to woman with small dog: My god, your dog is beautiful!
Woman: Thanks.
(British guy leans down and makes sexual motions near dog)
Woman: Stop, oh my god!
British guy, getting up: Lady, can you not see that I'm just trying to appreciate a beautiful dog! (runs away)
–Ave A & 9th St
Woman: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!
Man: I take it back.
–26th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy blocking overcrowded subway car to elderly woman trying to squeeze by: Hey! You could say "excuse me!"
–Uptown N Train
Woman, eating falafel: I'm trying to stay away from fried foods.
–40th St
Five foot, 250-pound woman to friend: Wow! That girl in front of us is fat!
–42nd & 8th
Man on cell: Maybe you're the one with the fucking anger problem! Dick!
–Outside The Met
Overheard by: Yellow!
Woman: You're getting married? You're getting married? You're getting married? To who??
Man: My wife.
Woman: Oh.
–W 3rd St & Thompson St
Overheard by: mr. pants
Man to woman in bar: I have a hard time liking anything that quivers.
–1st Ave b/w 85th & 86th
Overheard by: Bunni
Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk?
–Broadway & 103rd St
Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: RAR!
Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team.
–Uptown D Train
Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy!
–Pub, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: Pub crawler
Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl: I only remember things when I insult them!
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
College dude: I remember this place… We were here last night right before I blacked out!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Amanda
Girl on cell: Okay, if you're stopping by my house, remember to bring that shirt you borrowed from me. Mmm-hmm. By the way, your husband wants to get it on with another dude.
–Union Square
Woman on cell: Alright, honey, have a fun bachelor party. Just promise me you'll get shit-faced, fall-on-your-ass drunk so you can't remember any of those strippers. Okay?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wait. What?
Woman #1: And then bam, right in my eye.
Woman #2: Well at least you didn't get pregnant.
Woman #1: I'm already pregnant.
–Union Square
Recently engaged woman to family: So, he sent me a message saying “Hey, I was looking at your profile and I noticed we had a lot in common, so check out my profile.” So I looked at his picture and I was scared to death! And then I went through his pictures and when I saw the one of him in the macaroni suit I knew that was the man I was going to marry.
Old woman: Oh, I know. It was like that with my husband.
Recently engaged woman: I saw him in the macaroni suit and I knew I was going to marry him.
–Restaurant, 59th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Brian
