Round white lady: Once with my cousin, Ned.
Stringy-haired white lady: Well, we don't count cousins in my home town.
Round white lady: So what if your uncle is your cousin?
Stringy-haired white lady: I suppose ain't no laws in West Virginia 'gainst that, neither.
–A Train
Overheard by: Raven L.
Woman: Umm…I have to go. Sorry.
Creepster: It's okay, we'll meet in another life… As cats.
–McFadden's Bar, 42nd & 2nd
Crying woman in pink bathrobe and wet hair, as she chases pimp-looking male: I'm taking them to court. I'm taking those motherfuckers to court! I'm calling 1-800-lawyers!
–14th & 8th
Overheard by: Rebecca Meyers
Attractive female law student on cell: Whatever, he can feed me dinner. I know it's "unethical" or whatever…
–11th St & 5th Ave
Blonde Columbia Education School girl to friend: Isn't this supposed to be a graduate school mixer? Why aren't there any law school guys coming up to me?
–Havana Central, near Columbia University
Overheard by: I <3 Gold Diggers Subway hobo: Yeah, thats right. (yelling) I'm gonna be the best judge this town has ever seen!
–6 Train
Overheard by: watching&waiting
Six-year-old girl walking up some wet slippery steps: If I slip, I'm gonna sue.
–33rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Em
30-something woman on cell: And then he says to me "you have a very nice placenta!"
–85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Whitney Simmons
Shoe shine guy to woman walking by: Nice boots! Nice hat! You sure got a lot of nice things, lady!
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: CreateEvity
NYU girl on cell: Ew! Emma? I can't believe a guy is interested in Emma! I know she's nice, but that's just gross. I really just cannot believe anyone could possibly be attracted to her! She's so ugly!
–Washington Square Park
Enthusiastic Jewish lady in jury room: He's very nice! He's very nice! He's going to be a *happy* archbishop!
–Centre St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Three-year-old girl: Don't be sassy, mommy, daddy's being nice.
–Front St.
Overheard by: Aviva
Older black man to circle of friends: I'll bend her over a bench and stick it into her! You know–I'm a nice guy.
–Flatbush & Lincoln
Old dog lady, smoking: Me, I've already been spayed.
–Dog Adoption Booth, Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Old woman to another: Darling, I didn't know your husband was still alive!
–Restaurant, Upper East Side
Elderly black woman, yelling to line of cars honking their horns for Puerto Rican Day parade: Get yo punk asses back to 5th Ave!
–Grand & Graham
Elderly woman, complaining to physical therapist: I keep walkin' like I'm drunk (pause) Cause I am drunk.
–12th & University
Overheard by: tbs
Old lady, after being knocked down by man on bike: You know what… Go to hell! (giggles to herself) I haven't said that in a looong time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: letthesunshine
Woman to male companion: I told you about that guy I accidentally slept with, right?
–Bar at Sushi Samba, 7th Ave
Overheard by: David Russo
Girl to friend: Because it is more than just, sexual, you know? (pause) Well, actually, it's not, but…
–14th b/w 6th & 7th
Man to woman: You know Mesopotamian sex? That's me.
–Washington Square Park
Man walking dog on cell: My number one conquest since coming here was a 21-year-old Native American.
–27th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Mom, how am I supposed to have sex on a bed that has wheels?
–15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Steve Hofstetter
Guy: So I fucked her on a bench, but I didn't finish, because I kept telling her about my girlfriend and how much I love her. So she got pissed of and took a taxi home to her parents.
–5th Ave
40-something man: Just tell that landlord that you don't need no electricity or no cable because you gonna be makin' love all the damn time!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: tracey
Hobo to couple: Right, right, so you take a donut, put it where it don't belong. Like in a tree. Now you got a tv. Take a cream cookie, wipe it on your mustache. Now you got a tv. I would put a chocolate cookie in the middle of a donut.
Woman: Oh my, where did you learn all this?
–Staten Island Ferry
Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Middle-aged woman #1: Do you still see Paul and Adira?
Middle-aged woman #2: Well, I could call them any time.
Middle-aged woman #1: But then you'd have to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: It's not that I don't want to have a relationship with them…
(pause)
Middle-aged woman #1: But you don't want to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: Exactly.
–Columbus Circle
