20-something girl, holding SpongeBob Square Pants playing cards: Look at the cards I'm getting!
Friend, shrieking and shaking: But I hate SpongeBob!
Woman, walking by: Why? He's nice.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Anna
20-something girl, holding SpongeBob Square Pants playing cards: Look at the cards I'm getting!
Friend, shrieking and shaking: But I hate SpongeBob!
Woman, walking by: Why? He's nice.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Anna
Woman to cab driver who just stopped: Oh, we're not looking for a taxi.
Cab driver: Fuck you, you fucking bitch! (drives away)
–Broadway & Grand St.
Overheard by: aaaa
Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: pumpkin
Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island.
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself…
Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope.
–Flatiron District
Woman: And you are not a lesbian either! You are only gay on weekends.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Adam Bozarth
Teen girl: I know Jimmy’s not gay because he stole my girlfriend.
–R train
Preacher: Mark my words–by sunrise you will be smothered in lesbians.
–53rd & 5th
Overheard by: Kaleena
Thoughtful guy: I always thought that if I were gay I’d be the manlier one. But now that I think about it I’d want to be the girly one for all the free stuff.
–26th & 1st
Overheard by: Charles
Guy on cell: Wait…Christ! It’s gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here.
–The Hangar, Christopher St
Overheard by: TK
Midwestern guy: That is complete bullshit! How do you make a dog gay?
–Century 21
Teen girl: It’s funny talking to him now. I mean, in the eighth grade we knew he was gay, but not take-it-up-the-butt gay.
–Uptown 1 train
NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Julium
Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color.
–Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai!
–Union Square
Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: molly
Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue.
–Hill Country BBQ
Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.
Old woman, putting stamps on envelope: I wish they would change the picture on these…
Middle aged woman: Frank Sinatra?
Old woman: Oh god, not that creep!
–Post Office, Stuyvesant
Overheard by: flat rate box
Woman #1: Oh! This guy is so hot.
Woman #2: He’s a druggie.
Woman #1: He’s so hot. Oh God. I can’t even stand it!
Woman #2: Maybe you’ll meet him in rehab.
–MTV Studios, Times Square
Girl to friend: Oh, my God, I think I just left the most embarrassing thing in the bathroom.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: V
Woman to roommate: When we get home, we'll have embarrassing sexual accidents!
–Pathmark, Massapequa
Overheard by: Are they really accidents if you plan ahead?
Nerdy TA: The thesis talk is kind of like the sex talk. It's a little embarrassing, no one really wants to give it, but it'll make you grow as adults.
–Columbia University
Girl to friend: I'm not embarrassed that I peed in his bed. I'm just not.
–Columbia University
Girl on cell: I saw it and I thought, "how embarrassing would it be riding on a bike with a nun."
–Grand Central
Overheard by: galgal
Older man: I'm really excited for Michelle.
Older woman: I'm really worried for Michelle.
–Willets Point
Overheard by: TCS
Older lady #1: He's a very nice guy. He looks like a terrorist, but he's so sweet.
Older lady #2, laughing: Really? Well, that's good.
Older lady #1: Yeah. He's so smart! Really bright, and really good at making you feel comfortable. I was so glad to have him helping us. But he definitely–if you look at him–he's like teddy Taliban.
–Waiting Room, NYU Hospital
Overheard by: Hector Hamas?
