Woman #1: After that Oprah, I knew we needed to work at our problems.
Woman #2: Good for you, good for you.
Woman #1: Yeah, I was like “Nigga, you better get up off me, take this knife off my throat, and use some motherfuckin words.”
Woman #2: Girl. Just like Rihanna.
–Escalator, Penn Station
Overheard by: JHillary
Girl #1: I seriously love Barry Manilow. I’m gonna get Barry Manilow to perform at my wedding.
Girl #2: No, he’s gonna be dead by then.
–157th & Broadway
Woman in deli #1: You know who else slept with Micheal Jackson? Corey Feldman.
Woman in deli #2: Who?
Woman in deli #1: You ever see Lost Boys?
Woman in deli #2: Oh right, Corey Feldman…
Woman in deli #2: Wait, which one? There's two Corey Feldmans.
–Delancey & Essex
Teen scene girl: And that's a whole fucking different story! You always said you wanted to die having a heart attack in a car!
–57th & 3rd
Overheard by: Duluthian
Guy in line: I haven't had a corn dog since Jim Belushi died.
–Nathan's, Coney Island
Creepy guy on cell: Hey. Did you hear about the Craigslist killer? Yeah, isn't that a great idea?
–Penn Station
20-something irritated man on cell: Dude, stop freaking out! They're probably not going to do the autopsy for another three days.
–8th Ave & 15th St
Conductor: Please, no one cross cars, if the train makes a turn you will fall through, get crushed and die, thank you and have a lovely evening. Oh, and it's lovely to be alive.
–Amtrak Train to Penn Station
Overheard by: Paige
Drunk guy: You’re not the boss of me…Bruce Springsteen is the boss of me.
–The Red Lion, Bleecker Street
Guy: Seriously. Puff’s attorney called me the other day to say Puff wants me to sign a confidentiality agreement. Puff doesn’t want me to disclose that he is the seller. I said to tell Puff that he’s the one who has to sign a confidentiality agreement. If the boys at Goldman find out who I am buying from, my credibility is going to be shot forever.
–Anotheroom, West Broadway
Overheard by: Big Lex
Paralegal lady on phone: And I thought to myself, “She looks so familiar, who is she?” Queen Latifah’s mother!…No, mangos.
–Office, 50th & 6th
Girl: Well, if he’s cranking the bass on a Dixie Chicks song at 2AM on a Monday at a bear bar to sell beer to lesbians he has much bigger problems than he knows.
–The Dugout, Christopher Street
Chick: If we see Robbie Williams tonight, I’m gonna die.
–30th & Park
Hipster guy: Yeah and what’s with Simon Cowell? That guy is like the Grinch Who Stole Everything Else.
–Abbey Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Spyridon Panousopoulos
Guy: You know you have reached the lowest point of all human existence when there’s a telethon featuring only John Denver music.
–2nd between A & B
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy: God, I love going to Galapagos. You always run into all the right people there. You know, all the people that you haven’t seen since that last Yeah Yeah Yeahs show?
–L train
Overheard by: Shannon
Woman on cell: Remember that handsome lawyer who took me out to dinner the other night? Yeah, well, he gave me an STD. It reminded me of a song.
–14th & 6th
Professor guy: Billy Joel, wow. He’s got about 10 shows coming up. I bet the stage production budget is through the roof. I’d drive a car onto stage…and smash it into a tree.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Woman: Brian Wilson beat me right the hell up right there; right the hell up!
–43rd between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Ryan Duncan
Old woman: Oh, is Lil’ Kim in jail?
–7th & Bleecker
Overheard by: Sarah Doogs
Dude: I was listening to a DMX record the other day, and if that
guy’s telling the truth, he’s lived quite a life.
–Gee Whiz Restaurant, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Matthew Alhonte
Asian guy: The time has come fo’ mad hip-hop.
–Go Sushi, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Crazy lady: Excuse me…Excuse me…Have you heard of a band called “The Diarrheas”? From Washington, DC! With Hillary and…Chuck! Like from Friday the 13th? Do you think they’ll be successful?
–11th between 52nd & 53rd
Third floor window guy: Hey fuck you, I don’t need you telling me that you are cooler than me, I saw the Ramones in ’83!…Fuck you, your not cooler than me, I saw Fugazi’s first show, I saw Minor Threat. What is your fucking claim to fame, seeing the White Stripes?
–Rivington & Stanton
Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Korky
20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H.
Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.
–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre
Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."
–Chambers St Subway Station
Overheard by: sarah
Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.
–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place
Overheard by: Any Britney Song
20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.
–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway
Woman to another: I mean, about the thing… he is ugly but at least he get it up!
–Abingdon Square Park
Man to friend: Ugly people aren't people!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Suit: Yeah, I couldn't deal with the paparazzi. I once saw a picture of Katie Holmes with a pimple, and now I think she's the ugliest person I ever saw.
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl to guy friend: I cannot believe you volunteered me like that! I'm going to start volunteering you to people… unattractive people. Like Leroy*.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michael O'Connor
Bus driver on packed bus: Okay, everybody, we need to reorganize the bus. Can all the good-looking people move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly-looking people move to the front? Thank you.
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: Michael
Girl #1: I mean, she's okay, but she's not a diva…
Girl #2, angrily: Hannah Montana is the most popular girl in America, admit it!
–FIT
Overheard by: yacky
Chick: So, Jerry Springer was in my office today, and I overheard him telling the guy he was talking to on the phone that I was attractive.
Queer: Wow. I hate you. In the best way possible. I hate you.
Chick: Why? Because he’s my new boyfriend?
Queer: Because one of the coolest sketchy famous people in the world called you attractive in a remarkably sketchy way. If I ever have to talk you off a self-esteem ledge again, I’m tagging out and killing myself.
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: Gays and their Hags, on the next Springer!
Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful.
–Lehman College
Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!
–Outside of Guggenheim
Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Melissa
Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.
–J Train
Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.
–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
