Middle aged white woman: You know, if you're not communicating with someone you can't just stick a potato up their ass and expect them to know where you're coming from.
Middle aged ponytail guy: True, true.
–Broadway Station Bar, Astoria
Middle aged white woman: You know, if you're not communicating with someone you can't just stick a potato up their ass and expect them to know where you're coming from.
Middle aged ponytail guy: True, true.
–Broadway Station Bar, Astoria
Young thug in crooked baseball hat to female friend: No, everyone should have the right to love Tom Cruise.
–41st & Lexington
40-something Midwest tourist to 40-something friends: Yeah, this is where Miley Cyrus was staying. (points to Sheraton hotel, friends gasp in excitement)
–53rd & 7th
Tourist son to mom: Let's go to the park and watch Jerry Seinfeld play softball.
–67th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Q
Random guy outside on corner: Yo, I just saw Phil Donahue. I just saw him walking down the street… (starts to sing in Cops theme song style) Whatchu gonna do when Phil Donahue comes for you? (pause) Yo, Phil Donahue is a crazy motherfucker!
–Astoria Boulevard, Queens
Girl on cell: Yeah, but I tower over him when I wear heels…and I'm not exactly sure if I'm ready to be Katie Holmes to his Tom Cruise.
–33rd & Broadway
Woman: Everywhere I go, I see either someone I know or a celebrity!
–69th & Columbus
Little boy to mother: Oooh…I thought Malcolm X was a singer.
–Flatbush & Beekman
Overheard by: Chelsea
Crazy woman: I’m still alive and breathing, thank you very much, despite the best efforts of the Devil.
–Food Court, Grand Central
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Girl #1: When people make stuff out of metal, they just melt it, right?
Girl #2: I think so.
Girl #1: Still, metal's way better than plastic.
Girl #2: Totally.
–Astoria Blvd
Overheard by: sara n.
Greek male #1: Your mother is upset! She is very mad about this!
Greek male #2: She is mad at me?
Greek male #1: Yes! Because you did not take care of the job.
Greek male #2: I did! I used the black knife with the big blade. The good one.
Greek male #1: Oh, very good.
Greek male #2: You are upset. I can see it in your eyes.
Greek male #1: No, I just had a couple of beers.
–Crescent & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Natalie
Guy #1: …and he just kept chewing and chewing. Man, I felt so bad.
Guy #2: Dude, why did you give a Twizzler to a giraffe?
–Astoria
Jewish girl: She signs up for JDate, goes out to dinner, and is engaged in four months. I sign up for JDate, and I go out to dinner with a duck. What the hell!
–Astoria
Suit on cell: That's what you get when you start dating at age 18 while volunteering in a Croatian refugee camp.
–M66 Bus
Female 30-something suit: Why would you think I don't have taste in men just because I'd do a guy with a hook, or a guy in a wheelchair?
–31st & Crescent, Astoria
Loud woman on cell: It's called "communication," Larry! Communication! You are such an idiot!
–3rd Ave b/w 40th & 41st
Overheard by: Tom
College guy to friend: I don't understand it, man. Every time I go out with this girl, like her vagina is showing.
–8th St & University
Man on cell: 26 years? Damn! After 26 days, I'd be all like, "bitch, I love you and all, but the next word that comes outta yo mouth, I'm gonna have to bash yo head in with a frying pan. I'm sicka hearin' the sound of yo voice!" No, of course I don' mean that, baby.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Riot
Yuppie lady: When all is said and done, I was drunk in Banana Republic…
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Karen Adverb
Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead!
–9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts
Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that!
–Astoria
Overheard by: squarehand
Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album.
–Museum of Modern Art
Overheard by: Gino
Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries!
–Korean Baptist Church, Astoria
Overheard by: Evan
Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d…violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.
–Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria
