Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d…violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.
–Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria
Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d…violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.
–Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria
Gay man #1: Is he straight?
Gay man #2: Yeah. But he loves a good gay bar!
–Astoria Park
Cop on cell: Yeah, Adam just called. Are there bodies there?
–Outside Times Square Police Station
Overheard by: leah
Police officer on crowd control duty: If you was special, you'd get on the sidewalk. If you was my family, you'd get on the sidewalk.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Claire
Little boy to mother, after policeman walks by: Mom, it's the five-o!
–38th St, Astoria
Man: Yo, I was so twisted last night. I was in the cop car and he was like, "no drinking in the cop car!"
–Lexington & 75th
Overheard by: wb
Cop to victim: So the doors and windows were locked,no sign of forced entry…and you're sure that your panty drawer was rifled through and unknown items are missing?
–Bensonhurst
Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.
–A Train
Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?
–Halloween Adventure
Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!
–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kathcom
Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!
–Downtown 6 Train
Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.
–Downtown 6 train
Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: J. Ra
Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.
–Soho
Overheard by: Edan
Little brother, running up street: Look at me — I’m the 4 train!
Older brother, running next to him: Look at me — I’m the 6 train!
Little brother: Stop running faster than me!
Older brother: Nuh-uh.
Little brother: Dad! Julio didn’t stop at 33rd Street!
–31st St, Astoria
Overheard by: five year old kids can figure this out — why can’t tourists?
Crazy man: Now, you probably don’t know this, but most of y’all have diabetes.
–1 train
Overheard by: bildita
Tall, skinny suit to lady suit: … What’s your sick policy? I was like, ‘Stay the fuck away from me, and don’t get me sick — that’s our sick policy!’
–13th & University
Overheard by: Dave D
Chick: I’da killed him if it wasn’t for that damn leukemia.
–9th & Smith St station
Dude: Can you get carpel tunnel of the butt?
–17th & 6th
Girl on cell: I’m like a virus. I never go away. I go away for a little bit, and you think you’re clear, and then I come back and take over your body.
–33rd & 30th, Astoria
Overheard by: brigid
Mother: … And I cleaned your pillow cases…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your blankets…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your sheets!
Screaming child: No! No! No! [Cries.]
–Astoria
Overheard by: Almost too cold to laugh
Little girl: Mommy, that guy has a puppy in his car!
Mommy: How many times do I have to tell you that is the first temptation to kidnap you, stupid!
–Astoria
Overheard by: GeeGoo
Two-year-old, pointing to Citibank: That's my bank!
–7th Ave & President St, Park Slope
Overheard by: But who's your insurance carrier?
Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I'm going home! (slams cell shut and begins strutting across parking lot)
–Parking Lot, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: WTF????
Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to seven-year-old girl: Stop touching my ass. Whore!
–Park, Astoria
Little girl to group of little girls: Raise your hand if you're allergic to penicillin!
–R Train
Overheard by: cole
Little girl to friends, pointing at platform: That's where hobos live!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Three-year-old boy, eating hamburger: Cock cock cock cock!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Alexis from Texas
Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssomeone's gonna take me! Someone's take me!
–Stop & Shop, Kingsbridge, Bronx
Overheard by: Krisztina
Guy: Hey, this might sound creepy but I have a picture of you on my wall.
Jon Stewart: That is creepy. Do you live in a comedy club?
–Cupcake Cafe, 18th & 26th
