Tonight's Movie: The Italian Job

Hot girl: Every time I look in the mirror, I cry a little bit inside.
Hot girl's friend: Why? But you're like so pretty.
Hot girl: For all the ugly people out there who must feel so unsatisfied with themselves and their nonexistent sex lives when they look at me and think, “wow if only I had such assets. If only my butt jiggled like that.”
Hot girl's friend: What is with you and your obsession with anal intercourse? You can have a perfectly balanced sex life and not engage in anal sex.
Hot girl: Not if you're Italian.
Hot girl's friend: Ohhh, so that's why Italians have such nice asses. All that thrusting must widen the butt cheeks tremendously.

–64th & 1st

Posted on January 3, 2009
Ass, Backdoor, Beauty, Crying, Friends, Girls, Physical appearance, Sex, Upper East Side

Pimps of The World: That's What We've Been Trying To SAY

Ghetto Thug: Pssss! Nigga woman, you got a mad fine piece of ass. Let me get in that, yo. Check it!
Scared Woman: You wish! Get away from me before I go get that cop over there.
Ghetto Thug: Bitch, I's just payin' you a compliment. Shit!

–Jamaica Station, Sutphin Blvd

Posted on December 26, 2008
Ass, Backdoor, Black People, Compliments, Cops, Queens, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Thugs, Women

I Smell Sitcom!

Drunk high-class hooker: I wanna tell you a joke.
Drunk suit: Okay, what is it?
Drunk high-class hooker: What is the definition of “indefinitely”?
Drunk suit: I dunno, what?
Drunk high-class hooker: When your balls are against my ass, you're in… definitely!

–Del Frisco's Steak House

Overheard by: the itis

Posted on December 23, 2008
Ass, Backdoor, Balls, Biotechs, Drunks, Restaurants & Cafes, Suits, Words

Except That I Am Not Having Enough of It

Drunk old man: Ain't nothing wrong with hot butt naked sex! Ain't nothing wrong with it, am I right?
Passing teen girl: Nothing!

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: In Agreement

Posted on December 22, 2008
Alphabet City, Ass, Backdoor, Drunks, Old People, Strangers, Street, Teens, Weirdness

Tell Me More, Tell Me More, Did She Shit Very Far?

Young JAP: So I heard they were doing anal at this party and he hit this nerve in her ass, and she started shitting all over her mom's bed.
Random guy, muttering: That's soooooo hot.

–1 Train

Overheard by: ugh

Posted on December 16, 2008
Ass, Backdoor, Celebrations/Parties, Family Ties, JAPs, On the Subway, Poop, Strangers, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Giggle When They Hear the Word “Penal”

Woman to two male companions: I've fornicated lots of times, and I've never been arrested!

–A Train, Grand Central

Guy handing out tickets: Comedy club tickets, tickets tickets, get drunk and possibly arrested!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Chadwick

50-something on cell: I was watching America's Most Wanted last night to see if I could see…our boy!

–DeKalb & Cumberland, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Lea

Grungy guy, carrying a slice and a bottled drink: I don't believe in putting off till tomorrow what I can do today…because tomorrow I might be back in jail.

–Sheridan Square

Overheard by: Suze Volchok

Guy on cell: It's always comforting when I imagine people I don't like being anally raped in prison.

–Prince & Sullivan

Bus driver: The next stop is QCC. Queens Correctional Cen…I mean, Queens Community College.

–Q27 Bus

Overheard by: hey! i go there …

Posted on December 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Brooklyn, Bus Drivers, Crime and Punishment, Directions, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Grand Central, Guys, Men, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Parks, Prison, Rape, School and studying, Sex, Soho, Store, Times Square, TV, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women, Words

Except Those Who Are Giving It

Man #1: I don't want to take it in the ass.
Man #2: What does it matter? Everybody is taking it in the ass.

–28th St & Lexington Ave

Overheard by: danny

Posted on November 11, 2008
Ass, Backdoor, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy

Only Matt Dillon's Dick Has Been in Audrey Hepburn's Ass

Hobo, interrupting a guy and a girl: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette or get some spare change?
Young man: I'm low on cash and sorry, but I have a cigarette for you. (hands hobo a cigarette) Do you need a light?
Hobo: Nope. (walks away)
(young man and woman continue conversation, hobo comes back and interrupts again)
Hobo: Can I ask you a question?
Young man: Shoot!
Hobo: What does Matt Damon's dick look like in Audrey Hepburn's ass?
Young woman: Trick question.
(hobo gives them the finger, walks away)

–Central Park

Posted on November 2, 2008
About Celebrities, Apologies, Ass, Backdoor, Central Park, Girls, Guys, Hobos, Money & Class, Panhandling, Parks, Penis, Smoking

So Just Cut Out the Gay Sex, Guys

Girl #1: I can't believe John lets that guy fuck him in his ass…I mean, he's got to have hemorrhoids.
Girl #2: I know, I hate hemorrhoids, you really got to guard against that shit.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Atrain

Posted on October 18, 2008
Advice, Backdoor, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Washington Square Park

Backdoor