Black man handing out leaflets: Your feet are like chicken nuggets, and I want to eat them!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex Bailey
Father to toddler: Well, what if I go crazy and bite your butt off?
–M&M World Store
Hispanic man to friends: Yo, man–I eat that pussy from *behind*!
–61st & 3rd
NYU guy: No, I don't condone cannibalism. Though I could see why you think I would.
–NYU Elevator
Overheard by: queenofscots
Middle aged woman on cell: You will never see your penis again! No more penis! Is that punishment enough for you?
–82nd & Columbus Ave
Black man to friend: None of them jeans fit, cuz my cock is just too huge, nigga!
–Steve & Barrys, Mariners Harbor Staten Island
Overheard by: Samantha
Sister to brother leaning on her crossed leg: Excuse me, I feel like your pee-pee is resting on my foot.
–7 Train
Latina to friend: He did everything short of taking out his penis and smacking him with it!
–Jerome Ave, the Bronx
Chick: Man, I just feel like there are a lot of penises and penis information in my life lately.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meister E.
Middle aged man on cell: But does she know about King Dong, the penis pump?
–Stuyvesant St, Manhattan
Black woman in line for bus: I was in line first! This isn't fair! I was here before any of you!
Suit: Relax, Rosa Parks, you'll get on the bus.
–86th & Lexington
Little black girl staring at poster: What's “sy-nics”?
Old white guy: That's “cynics”. It means people who question everything.
Little black girl: Oh. (to her friend) You're a cynic!
Little black boy: Hey! I am not a cynic! Mom! She called me a cynic!
–V Train
Upper East Side queer teen: Oh my gosh, you have such a cool accent! Where are you from? Like England or something?
Black girl: Brooklyn.
–Central Park
Overheard by: TM
Cashier: Hi ma'am, did you find everything you wanted?
Big funky black lady: Yeah, I guess so. Too bad you guys don't sell husbands here.
–Bath and Body Works, Park Ave & 23rd
Overheard by: thinking the same thing
Black nanny #1 to another, about white baby in her care: Her mother tells me to put sunscreen on her, but she's so damn white.
Black nanny #2: I know, nigger looks like Casper.
–Battery Park Playground
Overheard by: Ana O
Man walking against traffic: Beep! Beep! Beep!
Older black woman: Beep beep, my behind!
–6 Train
Headline by: Trey Jackson
Runners-Up:
· “At Long Last, Someone Correctly Answers David’s Mating Call” – cultural anthropologist
· “Discovered: Where Beyonce Gets Her Lyrics From” – Joel Moore
· “Is That an Insult or an Invitation?” – alan b hutscar
· “Now, If This Had Been on HBO, the Beeps Would Have Been Words…” – beep!
· “Will.i.am, Writing In Notepad: “Genius!”” – James
· “Yeah, Our Line Of Novelty Horns Is Doing Quite Well” – mk
Flamboyant black man #1: I just want to grab some guy and go make out in the porn room.
Flamboyant black man #2: You mean the pool room?
Flamboyant black man #1: No, the porn room…come here!
–Pop Burger, 9th Ave
Overheard by: j
Man walking in to immigration center to immigration security guard: You look very elegant today.
–Immigration Application Support Center, Queens
Lady: Oh my gosh, Casey looks so good! You would never know that he's blind!
–W 20th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Katie AK
Slightly tipsy elderly suit: Do you know where I can find a beautiful woman? Someone to spend the rest of my life with?
–Metropolitan Museum Info Desk
A Capella group leader, walking into train: Ladies and gentlemen, happy Thursday. We are a Doo Whop group and we are here to entertain you. If you like what you hear, show us some love. If you are miserable, hell, add more fiber to your diet. This Sunday, we will be saluting the best-looking people on the subway. Have a fiberrific day!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Ghetto black chick after someone took a picture of her: Did you get all the beautifulness?
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
