Pregnant teacher: Yeah, so my husband loves me and I'm pregnant. Yeah, that's life…everything works out.
Black girl to friend: Yo, she makes me mad depressed.
–Edward R Murrow High School
Pregnant teacher: Yeah, so my husband loves me and I'm pregnant. Yeah, that's life…everything works out.
Black girl to friend: Yo, she makes me mad depressed.
–Edward R Murrow High School
Man on cell: Well, at least my dick will finally seem bigger!
–Prince St. & W Broadway
Overheard by: Johnny
Puerto Rican lady on phone to pal: Yo, his dick was mad little, yo! My son's dick is bigger than that!
–Broadway & Havemeyer, Brooklyn
Teen on cell: And you have a small penis. And you're gay.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: And I Thought My Day Wasn't Going Well
Black gay guy on cell: I feel so sorry for guys with small penises. Here I am, with a 12 inch dick and I don't even use it.
–Penn Station
Man on cell: You're dumping me because my dick is 11 inches and it's too big? That doesn't make any sense!
–Lorimer & Maujer
Overheard by: was this a lame attempt to hit on me?
Petite yuppie on phone: Oh my god! It was so small I tried so hard not to laugh! But then I decided to boost his spirit and I said to him, "is it because it's cold in here?" (pause) Yeah, you're right, that couldn't have possibly boosted anything at all. Dinner was good, though.
–N Train
Overheard by: Mefisto
Not ghetto black girl: How do you bag a girl?
Ghetto black boy: Come sit on my lap!
–Pete's Pizza, Ave M
6'6" construction worker with another, to Applebee's host: For two, somewhere really romantic.
–Applebee's, 50th St
Construction worker with Staten Island accent: Chick's like a fuckin' black widow, like, she gets you all swollen up and then just leaves you to fuckin' die.
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: need a tissue?
Construction worker to friend: That guy's got a job at fuckin' fudge pack city!
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: EthanK
Black construction worker to girl on street: Giiiiiirl, you lookin' good. (to orthodox boys) See, it's that easy.
–Near Edward R Murrow High School
Construction worker on scaffolding, yelling to another: Look! It's a bird! No! It's a plane! No! It's my cock!
–Driggs & N 12th, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Rebecca
Black lesbian hipster: Don't, like, kiss me or look into my eyes…just fuck me and then buy me lunch.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Helena the Great
Little boy to sister, watching couple kissing and hugging: Ewwwwww! He kissed her!
–3rd Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: Valley
Guy on cell: So then if she has herpes, should I not kiss her?
–PATH Train
Woman to toddler: Yes, it's good. It's very good. Kissing and hugging are good.
–Eldridge St, Chinatown
Overheard by: wheelerface
Dad, to teenage son: Hey, Karen kissed me. And it was real.
–E 20th St
Overheard by: Angela
250-pound male Metro worker, singing gruffly: I kissed a girl and I liked it!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chis K
Black guy: Wanna see what I'm famous for?
Tourist: No, I don't want to see your penis.
–Central Park Entrance
Party girl, bending over to pet a dog tied to a mailbox: Hi, puppy!
Male friend: Don't do that, don't pet a strange dog.
Random black guy, barking: He gonna bite your hand!
Party girl: I'm going to bite your hand.
Random black guy: You bite my hand, I bite yo booty.
–Hudson & 10th
Overheard by: erkala
Three-year-old boy, refusing to get in stroller: Shit! Shit! Shit, mommy! Shit!
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: Sarah
Young boy, yelling after hearing Jesus freaks preach: What a bunch of shit that is!
–7th Ave & 33rd St
Overheard by: Colleen
Hobo drinking Red Bull: This is Red Bull shit!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: RevolutionSuzi
30-something lady on cell: I'm gonna be shitting my brains out later.
–Astoria
Seasoned-looking guy, watching hobo pee in the middle of a subway car: I ain't never seen that shit before. That shit is brand new!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i will be traumatized forever
Menacing black woman on phone: I'mma go home and shit on my girlfriend's China.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Penelope
Hispanic girl on phone: I'm in the Heights, looking at clothes…of course they're slutty, that's all we wear.
–St Nicholas Ave b/w 181 & 182 St
Overheard by: Linda Rhodes
Friend to scantily clad girl adjusting extremely low-cut shirt: Why are you even wearing a shirt?
–NYU
Flamboyant black man: Girl, I can see yo' pussy, yo' pants are too tight!
–14th St
Blonde: I'm just going to put a thong and a mini skirt on him, and he'll entertain us.
–Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Natalie
Freshman NYU student during welcome week: I can't wait to get some slutty clothes…so I can fit in.
–Outside NYU's Kimmel Center
Street vendor, yelling: Anyone need coach purses? Anyone need stolen shit?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sarah and Andrew
Black guy holding purses: Yo! Who wants to buy some stolen shit? I got some nice stolen shit over here.
–Times Square
Overheard by: A Little Too Intrigued
Man selling bootleg designer bags: Anyone want some stolen shit?
–45th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Claire
Yelling man peddling counterfeit purses: Get your stolen shit! Everyone needs some stolen shit! It's stolen in New York, so it still counts as being from New York!
–Time Square
Thug holding handbags: Who want some stolen shit? I'm not gonna lie in 2009. I got Dolce & Gabanna and Louis Vuitton. Who want some stolen shit?
–Times Square
