Friend: So how was your date?
Woman: Oh my gosh it was amazing!! The best I ever had! It was cosmic!
Friend: On the first date? Wow!
Woman: I know! It was the best veal Parmesan I have ever had!
–5th Ave
Friend: So how was your date?
Woman: Oh my gosh it was amazing!! The best I ever had! It was cosmic!
Friend: On the first date? Wow!
Woman: I know! It was the best veal Parmesan I have ever had!
–5th Ave
Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.
–Forbidden Planet
Gay guy #1: Do you know that mice can survive longer without water than a camel?
Gay guy #2: That's gorgeous. I love it.
–East Village
Little boy,jumping up and down: The Dow Jones is up! The Dow Jones is up!
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Some Random Girl
Crazy man, shouting at no one in particular: Fuck the economy, your asshole just dropped 200 points!
–8th Ave & 19th St
Slacker on a smoke break: Yeah, McCain said he is going to suspend his campaign so that he can work on the economy. I mean, really. It would be like me saying I'm suspending my pot distribution so that I can work on quantum physics.
–Forest Ave., Staten Island
Overheard by: political listener
Hobo on subway to man in suit: Spare change? Anyone? Spare change for the homeless? You look like you worked for Lehman Brothers, you're excused.
–51st St
Overheard by: Kate
Drunk fan: Martin Brodeur fucked his sister-in-law.
Sober pisser: That’s worse than OJ Simpson.
Drunk fan: Yeah, he’s French Canadian.
–Madison Square Garden bathroom
Overheard by: TrueBlue
Guy #1: Your mind is full of junk information!
Guy #2: Well, you keep rummaging in it, so that makes you a bum.
–Rivington & Ludlow
Well dressed party-goer: No, like, I went to Princeton -we lied all the time.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Cuny Graduate
Dude on cell: Okay… Great. Yeah. But I gotta go. My mom’s calling. [Hangs up, shoves phone in pocket.]
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Overheard by: Squiggs
Woman on cell: I just don’t understand why he got so freaked out about it. I said "I love you" -big fucking deal. That doesn’t mean anything. I could have been lying. I was lying, for Christ’s sake.
–L Train
Crazy hobo: Hillary Clinton is a liar, she lies. We’ve been married for 28 years and she won’t admit to it. Liar. Afraid of integration, that’s Hillary.
–E Train
Overheard by: Liz Beaux
Suit on cell to his wife: Yeah… Yeah… Oh, honey, I have to go, this is it, the train’s here. Bye! [Clicks over to the other line.] Hey buddy! How’s it going!
–125th St. Subway platform
Overheard by: EthanK
Twentysomething player on cell, picking fresh hairs off him : I feel you, I feel you, I can’t meet up with you now, I have to go to Forest Hills to get my haircut.
–N Train
Overheard by: john
Guy on cell: Most people lie to get out of jury duty and here I am being honest about NAMBLA.
–73rd & 2nd
Overheard by: melissa
Young English teacher, showing class movie of Greek tragedy Agamemnon: Does anyone else think that Agamemnon kinda looks like the Burger King King?
Student: Well, there goes my grade.
–Stuyvesant High
Guy, trying to sneak past chubby girl behind counter: You gettin' fat?
Chubby girl: I ain't fat, I'm a fat-ass. There's a big difference.
–W 103rd St & Broadway
Girl #1: (about friend in restroom) Oh my god! She is being such a bitch!
Girl #2: I know! I can't believe she said we were just as bad!
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, at least we tell people to their faces!
Girl #2: Yeah. Oh, quiet! She's coming back.
–Beans Cafe, 57th St
Overheard by: Kiara
