Guy #1: Aw, man, she’s like a 4×4, comfortable and fast! And those curves, shit.
Guy #2: She’s seventeen.
Guy #1: Right on!
Guy #2: My shit is real, yo.
–1 train
Guy #1: Aw, man, she’s like a 4×4, comfortable and fast! And those curves, shit.
Guy #2: She’s seventeen.
Guy #1: Right on!
Guy #2: My shit is real, yo.
–1 train
Guy on cell: That's the good thing about abortions–you can have like three a day.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Ghetto dude: I told her, I was like "if you get pregnant you best get an abortion, cause I ain't helping you with that shit." I mean, I would help her, but I gotta get that shit in her head.
–N Train
Overheard by: Jill
30-something woman to boyfriend: There be some muthafuckas up in here who think this shit some form of birth control. I'm woman enough; I gave birth to six kids. I ain't doin' it again.
–Abortion Clinic, Queens
Crazy guy on subway, preaching: You know why there's 100 million Mexicans in America? Abortion!
–W Train
New Yorker guy: You know that summer camp I went to? My friend is now the head of it and I’m going to help him out next month.
Girl, laughing: Awww, you’re going to teach the kiddies how to canoe and tie slip knots?
New Yorker guy: No, I’m gonna teach them about the Holocaust.
Girl (laughs then pauses): Wow, that is not what we did at Girl Scout camp in Wisconsin.
–6th Ave & 19th St
Middle-aged woman, angrily on cell: You tell him to go outside right now, and take his clothes off!
–32nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: djlori
Girl to friend: All of a sudden there's a naked man! Like, this doesn't translate well visually.
–Uptown 1 Train
Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?
–60th St & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Stacey V
Girl on phone: Topless anarchy is still anarchy, man.
–5 Train
Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!
–Columbia University
Friend: So how was your date?
Woman: Oh my gosh it was amazing!! The best I ever had! It was cosmic!
Friend: On the first date? Wow!
Woman: I know! It was the best veal Parmesan I have ever had!
–5th Ave
Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.
–Forbidden Planet
Gay guy #1: Do you know that mice can survive longer without water than a camel?
Gay guy #2: That's gorgeous. I love it.
–East Village
Little boy,jumping up and down: The Dow Jones is up! The Dow Jones is up!
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Some Random Girl
Crazy man, shouting at no one in particular: Fuck the economy, your asshole just dropped 200 points!
–8th Ave & 19th St
Slacker on a smoke break: Yeah, McCain said he is going to suspend his campaign so that he can work on the economy. I mean, really. It would be like me saying I'm suspending my pot distribution so that I can work on quantum physics.
–Forest Ave., Staten Island
Overheard by: political listener
Hobo on subway to man in suit: Spare change? Anyone? Spare change for the homeless? You look like you worked for Lehman Brothers, you're excused.
–51st St
Overheard by: Kate
Drunk fan: Martin Brodeur fucked his sister-in-law.
Sober pisser: That’s worse than OJ Simpson.
Drunk fan: Yeah, he’s French Canadian.
–Madison Square Garden bathroom
Overheard by: TrueBlue
Guy #1: Your mind is full of junk information!
Guy #2: Well, you keep rummaging in it, so that makes you a bum.
–Rivington & Ludlow
