You Should See My Notes for Sexual Anthropology

Teen girl #1: Don’t read it.
Teen boy: Really?
Teen girl #2: It’s so overrated. Everyone’s like “Oh my god, Frankenstien is awesome!” but it’s not. It isn’t. Frankenstein sucks so hard.
Teen girl #1: Victor spends half the book sick, and the monster spends half the book spying on a family with a hot Arabian chick.
Teen boy: What about all the torches and Igor and everything?
Teen girl #2: Not there.
Teen boy: For real?
Teen girl #1: Just a lot of a Swiss guy crying and lying on the floor. I even have it in my notes, “Victor says: ‘When in doubt, pass out!'” And there’s a stick figure giving a thumbs up.

–Forbidden Planet

Posted on April 30, 2019
Books & Writing, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Store, Teens, Union Square and East Village

Mice Have Always Been Fashion-Forward

Gay guy #1: Do you know that mice can survive longer without water than a camel?
Gay guy #2: That's gorgeous. I love it.

–East Village

Posted on April 28, 2019
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Queer guys, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Thank God for Their Piggy Banks

Little boy,jumping up and down: The Dow Jones is up! The Dow Jones is up!

–86th & Lexington

Overheard by: Some Random Girl

Crazy man, shouting at no one in particular: Fuck the economy, your asshole just dropped 200 points!

–8th Ave & 19th St

Slacker on a smoke break: Yeah, McCain said he is going to suspend his campaign so that he can work on the economy. I mean, really. It would be like me saying I'm suspending my pot distribution so that I can work on quantum physics.

–Forest Ave., Staten Island

Overheard by: political listener

Hobo on subway to man in suit: Spare change? Anyone? Spare change for the homeless? You look like you worked for Lehman Brothers, you're excused.

–51st St

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on April 18, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Business and Commerce, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Panhandling, Politics, Staten Island, Suits, Upper East Side, Weed, Weirdness

People Who Live in New Jersey Should Not Throw Stones

Drunk fan: Martin Brodeur fucked his sister-in-law.
Sober pisser: That’s worse than OJ Simpson.
Drunk fan: Yeah, he’s French Canadian.

–Madison Square Garden bathroom

Overheard by: TrueBlue

Posted on April 16, 2019
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Default, Drunks, Family Ties, Global Geography, Madison Square Garden, Sex, Stall Spies, Strangers, Weirdness

We Should Have a Sale

Guy #1: Your mind is full of junk information!
Guy #2: Well, you keep rummaging in it, so that makes you a bum.

–Rivington & Ludlow

Posted on April 11, 2019
Compare/Contrast, Guys, Homeless, Lower East Side, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Did Chop Down That Cherry Tree

Well dressed party-goer: No, like, I went to Princeton -we lied all the time.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Cuny Graduate

Dude on cell: Okay… Great. Yeah. But I gotta go. My mom’s calling. [Hangs up, shoves phone in pocket.]

–Wagner College, Staten Island

Overheard by: Squiggs

Woman on cell: I just don’t understand why he got so freaked out about it. I said "I love you" -big fucking deal. That doesn’t mean anything. I could have been lying. I was lying, for Christ’s sake.

–L Train

Crazy hobo: Hillary Clinton is a liar, she lies. We’ve been married for 28 years and she won’t admit to it. Liar. Afraid of integration, that’s Hillary.

–E Train

Overheard by: Liz Beaux

Suit on cell to his wife: Yeah… Yeah… Oh, honey, I have to go, this is it, the train’s here. Bye! [Clicks over to the other line.] Hey buddy! How’s it going!

–125th St. Subway platform

Overheard by: EthanK

Twentysomething player on cell, picking fresh hairs off him : I feel you, I feel you, I can’t meet up with you now, I have to go to Forest Hills to get my haircut.

–N Train

Overheard by: john

Guy on cell: Most people lie to get out of jury duty and here I am being honest about NAMBLA.

–73rd & 2nd

Overheard by: melissa

Posted on March 19, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Crazies, Crazy, Education, Family Ties, Guys, Hair, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Lies, Love, Marriage, On Cell, On the Subway, Players, Politics, Public Transportation, Staten Island, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Women, Words

Points For Creative Inanity

Young English teacher, showing class movie of Greek tragedy Agamemnon: Does anyone else think that Agamemnon kinda looks like the Burger King King?
Student: Well, there goes my grade.

–Stuyvesant High

Posted on March 6, 2019
Compare/Contrast, Education, Film, Junk Food & Fast Food, Physical appearance, Pop Culture, Students, Stuyvesant, Teachers/Professors, Theater & Dance

The Difference Between a Kirstie and a Kardashian

Guy, trying to sneak past chubby girl behind counter: You gettin' fat?
Chubby girl: I ain't fat, I'm a fat-ass. There's a big difference.

–W 103rd St & Broadway

Posted on February 28, 2019
Ass, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Girls, Guys, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

One More Reason Girls Go to the Bathroom in Groups

Girl #1: (about friend in restroom) Oh my god! She is being such a bitch!
Girl #2: I know! I can't believe she said we were just as bad!
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, at least we tell people to their faces!
Girl #2: Yeah. Oh, quiet! She's coming back.

–Beans Cafe, 57th St

Overheard by: Kiara

Posted on February 16, 2019
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Restaurants & Cafes

Compare/Contrast