Poserday One-Liners

Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: haxromana

Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.

–Troutman & Evergreen

Overheard by: Kristen

Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.

–6 Train

Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.

–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn

Overheard by: chelce

Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.

–Columbus Circle

Posted on August 26, 2014
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Fears, Guys, Hipsters, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Psychology, Questions, Relationships, Store, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Are Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland

Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Laura Grossman

Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?

–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez

Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.

–Upper East Side

Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.

–Broadway & Wooster

Overheard by: ClassyGal

Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.

–Central Park

Posted on August 24, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Cocaine, Cocaine Diet, Compare/Contrast, Druggies, Food, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Punch, Questions, Soho, Thievery, Time, Tourists, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Women

Shade-Grown, Slow-Roasted Wednesday One-Liners

Thug to friend: That bitch looked up at me and said, "Damn, your dick tastes like coffee."

–86th St & Lexington

Overheard by: TINA

Female suit to other: Duane Reade is like the Starbucks of drugstores!

–Duane Reade

Old lady with shopping cart, exiting voting booth: Where's my Starbucks coupon?

–PS163, Bath Beach, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Torgo61

Guy on cell: Hey, bro! I'm having coffee and a bagel. (pause) No, an animal did not have to die for me to have this coffee!

–Arthur Avenue

Overheard by: eternal student

Man with heavy Indian accent holding a cup of Starbucks coffee: No, the most expensive coffee in the world is coffee beans eaten and then pooped out by a cat. It's $120 a cup.

–Elevator, 7th Ave & 31st St

Posted on August 24, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, BJs, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Coffee, Compare/Contrast, Duane Reade, Friends, Gay Man's Best Friend, Guys, India Indians, Junk Food & Fast Food, Men, Money & Class, Nicknames & name calling, Old People, One-liners, Penis, Poop, Questions, School, Sensory Experiences, Shopping, Street, Suits, The Bronx, Thugs, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Most Romantic Quote We've Received in a While

Girl: How was your date last night?
Guy: He had a sick body but an ugly face. I slept with him anyway.

–84th St & 2nd Ave

Posted on August 24, 2014
Beauty, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Girls, Guys, Physical appearance, Questions, Sex, Upper East Side

But He Had a Lot of Difficulties Making Weight

Little boy: Dad, who’s Mahatma Gandhi?
Dad: You don’t know who Gandhi is?
Little boy: No. Was he a sports star?
Dad: Something like that…

–Union Square

Posted on August 23, 2014
About Celebrities, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, History & Geography, Kids, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Or, Like, “I Can't Come to Work Because It's My Mom's Funeral”

Man: Ohmigod! I hate people that are like “I have boy issues because my dad molested me.”
Woman: Ohmigod, I know! It's like people who are like “I can't go to the gym because I have my period.”

–Downtown 1 Train

Posted on August 21, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Fitness, Gripes, Incest, Men, Menstruation, On the Subway, Parents, Psychology, Women

The Adult Film Industry Will Be Happy to Guide You

Cute Asian girl: I feel like I'm in high school again, except the person I'm dating is female and a really good kisser, and the guy I'm plotting to seduce is my professor. What's wrong with my life?
Friend: I think you need to either learn to live without penis, or realize that kissing men isn't scary.
Cute Asian girl: Kissing women is scary too! But I happen to really enjoy kissing Christina.
Friend: Okay, so if you want to do your professor so badly, don't you think he might be a good kisser too?
Cute Asian girl: There are so many things you can do with a guy that don't involve kissing…
Friend: Again… Get over penis or start kissing men!
Cute Asian girl: It isn't that simple!

–Uptown 2 Train

Posted on August 20, 2014
Asians, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Fears, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, On the Subway, Penis, Questions, School and studying, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Have You Considered Putting a Television on the Ceiling?

Girl #1: So, sex has really been terrible lately, he just pounds me and I lie lifeless.
Girl #2: You think he even realizes you're there?
Girl #1: Who knows, it's just boring as hell.

–Morris & Washington

Posted on August 20, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gripes, Questions, Sex, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-Linernotes

Man handing out his CD: Scuze me, you like authentic Latino music? (woman flinches)
I ain't gonna bite you. Neither is the CD. Unless you're bitten with the sweet beat of salsa.

–2 Train

Older guy to younger date: So last night, right, I was a little drunker than I wanted to be and I was listening to those Beethoven and Mozart symphonies to, you know, really try to hear the difference between them…

–Uptown A Train

Woman walking out of a Chekhov play: Ugh! That was like taking a Tchaikovsky and playing it as if it were a Beeeeeethoven.

–Theatre District

Overheard by: Greer Feick

Happy older musician: I'm playing at the memorial concert for Ricky B*. Johnny T* was going to do it, but he died. I'm the go-to replacement when someone scheduled to play at a tribute concert dies.

–19th & 7th

Overheard by: tycho anomaly

Man on cell: Did you get the tickets? (pause) Eighty dollars to see a green bitch sing!?

–Chineese Restaurant, Columbus Ave

Posted on August 20, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, For Sale, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Music, Musicians, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Singing, Street, Stupidity, Theater, Theater & Dance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

When Urban Patois Jumps the Shark

Teenage son, to his white dad: Dad, you look like a homeless person!
White mom: Yeah, you want a dollar, nigga!?

–87th & 3rd

Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski

Posted on August 18, 2014
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Homeless, Insults, Moms, Teens, Upper East Side, White People

Compare/Contrast