Wednesday One-Liners! They're Just Like Us!

Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!

–Downtown 1 train

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?

–116th St & Broadway

Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!

–N6 Bus

Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?

Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.

–Midtown Office

Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size

Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.

–East Village

Posted on March 31, 2018
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Bus, Clothing, Columbia, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Creepsters, Dads, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Hipsters, JAPs, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Names, Nose Job, Offers and requests, Office, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Physical appearance, Shopping, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Variety: Torch Chick Doesn’t Click

Tourist girl #1, looking at Statue of Liberty: I don’t get it.
Tourist girl #2: Don’t get what?
Tourist girl #1: Why a chick with a torch? I mean, honestly — what American came up with the idea of building a giant chick with a torch?
Tourist girl #2: Actually, it was designed by the French.
Tourist girl #1: Well, that makes more sense. They’re always putting up giant, crazy things. The guy who did this should get together with that Eiffel Tower guy.
Tourist girl #2, shaking head and sighing: Why am I friends with you?

–Circle Line Ferry

Overheard by: Kitty

Posted on March 27, 2018
Default, Ferry, Girls, Global Geography, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists

I Rarely Know

Girl #1: Hey, what is the drug in Turkey that makes you sleepy?
Girl #2: Uhmmm, hashish?
Girl #1: You put hash in your turkey?
Girl #2: What are you talking about?

–1 Train

Overheard by: renee

Posted on March 22, 2018
Drugs, Food, Girls, On the Subway, Questions, Weirdness, Words

Dirty, Sexy Wednesday One-Liners

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Anna Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Henry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: Keep It Movin'

Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.

–E 4th St

Overheard by: girl named sugar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington

Overheard by: Ashlee

Posted on March 21, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Biotechs, Black People, Cars and Driving, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Height, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Starbucks, Statue of Liberty, STDs, Strangers, Street, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Believe Me, You’re Better Off Not Knowing

Girl: You know what I really hate?
Guy: What?
Girl: Gays, queers. You know, that kind of stuff.
Guy: Ah…but you watch yaoi.
Girl: So?

–Odessa, Avenue A

Overheard by: allison

Posted on March 19, 2018
Assholes, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Pop Culture, Union Square and East Village

You Can’t Let Your Lazy Vagina Run Your Life

Girl: How are you supposed to have sex without an apartment? Isn’t your father worried for your penis?
Guy: Lord knows… But my penis is, like — singing the blues.
Girl: Oh my God, so sad!! My vagina is begging for a vacation — though she can’t because she is booked two weekends in a row.

–Broadway & Prince

Overheard by: Willy Holiday