Guys

Guy, after lengthy technical explanation: Yeah, so SPF 10 is only twice as strong as SPF 5.
Girl: Now I get it.

–Elevator, 39th & 2nd

Overheard by: kerin

Guy #1: Dude, there is this bar up in Albany where you are basically guaranteed a hand-job. You don't even have to buy them a drink, it is like destiny.
Guy #2: We should go there this weekend.

–6 Train

Overheard by: nicjustice

Guy to friend: So, Kirsten's cute.
Friend: I only like her in her leggings.

–NYU

Overheard by: yomama

Dude #1: I heard it ruins your sex life.
Dude #2: Forever?
Dude #1: I think so!

–34th & 8th

Guy: So what was our plan again? Have a drink and then go for a drive?
Girl: It'll be just like we're living in Long Island again!

–26th & 8th

Girl: I don't understand how they can still film Survivor. Haven't they run out of desolated islands by now?
Guy: Long Island?

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: cnol

Guy #1: Mario and Luigi are so Mexican.
Guy #2: What?! Are you crazy? They're Italian, duh!
Guy #1: No, but they've got the mustache, you know? That's so Mexican!
Guy #2: No, they have Italian mustaches!
Guy #1: Psst, you do know what the whole point of the game is, right?
Guy #2: Yeah, these two Italian guys go and save some kidnapped princess.
Guy #1: Really? I thought it was about two Mexicans trying to hop the border.

–Chambers & Greenwich

Overheard by: Milo

English teacher, telling student how to read play: Brian, you're like Martin Luther King meets 50 Cent!

–English Class, Bronx HS of Science

Overheard by: Lillian

Woman answering cell on bus: You saw Beyoncé? (everyone stares) Sorry. Did you say, "Hi, fiancée," or "I saw Beyoncé"?"

–126 Bus

Loud fat hipster chick: So she said I'm like Britney Spears with Lindsay Lohan's body, because my weight fluctuates like Lohan's. And I'm okay with that, because you know what? Lohan is a great celebrity. I mean, look, Kate Winslet is lovely and all, but what is she doing tonight? Sitting on a couch somewhere, drinking moderately probably. What is Lohan doing? Probably something really gay and coked up. I'd rather be gay and coked up than drinking moderately on a couch, any day of the week.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Jas

Metal kid: I smell like Robert Downey, Jr.

–Don Pedro's, Boerum & Manhattan, Brooklyn

Overheard by: LP

Hobo: I always thought Madonna was a trashy white cunt.

–Restaurant Row

Overheard by: Al-master

Guy to girl: You know, I'm sure you're a wonderful lover, and you don't need to be comparing yourself to Lance Armstrong. Like, that's just a fool's game.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Helena

Guy pouring himself cup of coffee to guy watching: You and I just really need to have a huge fight. I think that's the only way we can truly be friends.

–Fox News Breakroom

Overheard by: CreateEvity

College girl on cell: I'm a real-life imaginary friend to two different people.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Am I Imaginary?

Soft-spoken thug on cell: I don't want to upset my baby momma, but I don't want to lose you as a friend.

–123rd & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Girl on phone: His name isn't CJ, it's JP. He wants to be friends with me, I'm gonna friend the heck outta him!

–Lafayette & White

Loud gay guy: So he asks me, "are we still just friends?" and I'm like, "umm, your dick was just in my mouth. Thats not what just friends do."

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Ricardo the Sex Machine

Suit to hot chick: So what's your take on the bottled water companies? Friend or foe?

–Odeon, Thomas & Broadway

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Tall awkward white dude: So you mean to tell me you never question your sexuality?
Girl, shaking her head slowly: No.
Tall awkward white dude: I mean, it's not like it's conscience. It's like a barometer thing: when you meet someone, you just respond.

–7 Train